Gentlemen, (im not being sexist, no female eyes have grazed this blog in a many a fortnight) it is time.

It is time for your minds to be opened to something new. something horrible.

www.kaiju.com

Giant monsters are real.

I am a virgin and I live with my parents.

I began to gather more excerpts from my blog for the second half of "Best of" but there wernt any really good ones... seems i used them all up on the first.
So Im going to let that one stand as the best of tomisthecrap.com.

And move on.

My neighbor tried to get me to go to a Static X show tonight. But i went to bill grays and played the hockey game with jim and liam. Jim actually bounced the puck off of my player into my goal, solidifying his birthright authority over me. I want a record player. And the new strokes album. and an electric toothbrush.
and the week to be over.

someday ill have all of these. Until then, I have a turntable, a pink shirt, a gallon of citrus punch, and andy, reading to me while I work.

Hello my one faithful reader. If there is even one.
In an effort to revive my blogging habits Im going to compile a "Best of" section, this will enlighten all who think they know everything there is to know about the Birth of the tom (and the death of fashion therof). and those of you who really honestly do know the tom, well this will be a fond reminder of all we've shared, and suffered through.

The Best of Tomisthecrap:

-"we all ended up in Brians nest watching him defeat Ling Poo.." -Feb 2nd.
who could forget that day? actually that happened so often it could be anyday...it just so happens that this particular time, we had just seen the Neo-Furturists. Go figure.

-"Today, my deodorant ran out, and I was reminded that nothing lasts forever in this world. Not even Tom's All Natural Woodspice. Sigh. I still have my Old Spice High Endurance Fresh though, so all is not lost." Feb 11th
One of my most heartfelt blogs ever. and even though it was written at the begining of this year, it still resonates today, as a powerful testement to man's brevity of life. Lets take another quote from that one.
-"what Im trying to say is dont take your deodorant for granted. Cuz, one day my freind, that big stick will gone, and you'll be left with an empty husk of what once was.
Savor it. "

-"Hey Guys, my name's Tom
I'm the new crack
I'm all like fashion and stuff
I'm a woman
I'M A WOMANNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!
Femmanin to the maxety-maxest possible. " Feb 26 03
No matter how many times I say this was not written by me, ppl still think it was. And indeed, it is one of Paul Scotas raw talents, to impersonate others so well. Who can forget his "Coach z/ my dad" impersonation, or how about the classic "Arnold" accent he does so well? well my freinds we may now add his "tom lake" to the list of his cherished personas.

-"it was ultra-hotness. like imagine-me-in-purple-thermal-wear-hotness. thats the kind of thing im talking about." -Apr 7th '03
This is one of those quotes that I found tremendously ammusing, but whenever i mention it to any of my freinds, I get o sort of accomadating smile, or nod, and a quick subject change. Perhaps the subject of my body holds some difficult facts for some people, or perhaps the thought of me in thermal wear is too much for some, however I would like to point out that it is this same thermal wear that would later become the famed (or notorious) Mothman costume.

-"Today, I came downstairs after reading a Flannery O'Connor story, rumaged in the fridge, and shook my socks in the air, caught up in the throughs of manhood. Meanwhile my mom and Sue looked with the bewilderment that women get when looking at something extremely masculine. So masculine that they can barely detect it. Like when you blow those dog whistles and nobody hears it but the dog. Yea that was like this. Except ...you know im the dog....and my ...socks...are the ..nevermind. - Feb 27th
this quote needs to commentary. It stands alone as a powerful description of masculinity in action and progress.

-"I finished my Doctor Who book this morning...what a satifying feeling to know that a fictitous universe has once again been saved by an eccentric man who travels in a machine that looks like a telephone booth." Feb 4th '03
Doctor Who....how long has it been my old freind?

-""Don't freak with a puppet on a pilgrimage." he said. The bear's dying eyes widened as he understood. His last words were too faint for Jack to make out, but they sounded apologetic. He picked up the shards of clay and laid them on the dead bear's chest in the shape of a roman cross.
Jack then continued his journey, his strings reaching up into the heavens, and his wooden joints moving as directed" Feb 27th
This story still lies in the back of mind. Begging for an explination, or a continuation....

-"The other night I unleashed Tom Lake's Heavy Metal Onslaught apon the kitchen and my un-suspecting parents. I did this my holding my amp above my head and screaming sentances with words in it like "Hot", "Death", and "Tom Lake" in them. My parents didn't seem to get it though...and kept on talking about ebay and hunting gear and pottery.
Boy did they miss out. " -Apr 25th
I am proud of that moment. Its like a son to me.

-"they transformed into their ninja megazords, and rocked his candy, causing Dustin, the Yellow Ranger, to exclaim "Crustacian Detonation!" as if we all couldn't see the shelfish monster explode..." Apr 26th '03
The power rangers still have an inexplicable grip on my mind.

-"Sunday found me fighting brian with these foam swords, ending with a thrust to the eye for me....I look like I got in a fight now...with my eye all scraped and puffy. Whatever, it justs adds to my thug apeal, which is in abundance today, trust me. The Bramble never lies...."
Sometimes, you have to just let it go, and be hot.

-"Ive got 4 albums this week.....i need to slow down...i just can't stop buying the music. it calls to me in my sleep Come, Thomas...purchace me baby...im on sale... and so on. So does B.S. but thats another story. and another blog. " May 14th
How many sleepless nights, BS, will your soft voice haunt me?

-"maybe its time we all threw our razors of discontentment away and let our wild, un fashionable hairs grow in where ever they darn well please.
Death to fashion. Bring back the Hair."May 16th
Deal with it.

-"So today amounted to me and Liam and Booster and Andy all playing video games. It sounds like it sucked. But it was awesome. Details would only detract from the experience, trust me. The only thing thats worth mentioning is that my lil bro mike called me hot today and Kate remarked that Russo looked adorable driving his car. mercy.-May 26th
Look up the original version in the Archives for the funny links. (like clicking on kate, or andy driving his car)

ok folks its time for class, I will undoubtably post more best of quotes from the archive, at a later date. Be safe.

"I give you Earnest Hemingway, gentlemen!"

"Exactly Gentlemen!"

from the begining of his literary career, Hemingway set out to be a literary figure.

He succeeded after his first novel. "In Our Time"


im going to be a rapper.

so Mothman 2 was filmed last night. Unfortunately we seemed to be in the make out spot of the night. So while, I (spandex clad mind you) was wrestling Liam (in a sleeping bag) there were all these date cars driving by staring at us. Humbling to say the least.

anyways the movie turned out to be a classic, and will be included in the soon to be released MOTHMAN TRILOGY.

(suckers would be suggested to act as if they know at this point.)

So last night, myself, andrew russo and my brother decided we would build me a moth suit and run around the city. as we went to do this, the idea evolved into russo chasing me in a preist's robe we just happened to swipe from a catholic school's trash. So then we decide why not film it? and call up emily, who says sure so we hop over there and get my moth suit constructed. (it ended up being me in spandex purple thermal wear with cardboard tube eyes....we later added sort of wings.) on the way to film this project we picked up paul ganguly and worked brian into the deal.
needless to say the film was awful, awfully funny and had disturbing sound effects by paul.

needless to say the camera's night vision makes me look naked.

you know that we get live
workin that nine to five
but we keep things straight
we be the day dreamers

ultimate mind rape.

-brainwash projects.

hey everybody. i was in buffalo today. but thats not important. whats matters is that i took this movie quiz to see if i was a movie what movie i would be...and i turned out as:

Bring It On!


What movie Do you Belong in?(many different outcomes!)
brought to you by Quizilla

which is a darn shame. i was aiming for charlie's angels 2.

its not that i cant up and go
change. Its not that I can't
physicly say no or yes
when im not used to doing so,
or get up earlier, or try and remember
things more or just plain clean my room
once in a while.
its not that I can't its just that my past
record is so bad I doubt my ability to change.
I doubt that I'll ever learn until things unravel
and i really screw up all
over the place.

and that, my freinds, bothers me.

"i make haste to dissapate and exterminate your health plan/ 'oh my gosh godzilla's coming!' Yo where the freak is Rodan?"

-me, into a radioshack mic, over a beat that was blorn like there was no tomorrow.

"i turbo-meeched you guys."

-Jeff Brice, after beating me at mini golf like what.

i was thinking about life just now.
how come if im a christian, and i truly beleive
that Christ has saved me and God is reallly really
real i dont act like it?
how come i dont act as if things dont have
eternal consequences?
if your a christian, you may have encountered
this kind of self questioning/judging. its rough stuff
to think about and makes you feel like crap if you think about it
too much and let it get to you.

but right now, im thinking that the whole half assed christian thing has to go.
im thinking ill start living like God is alive.

just thought i'd let you know.

Well I had an evening that rivaled Zack's "falling in septic tank story" recently. Long story short Five cops handcuffed me and brian and the youngs near mendon ponds tonight because the paperwork for our stolen van being found had mysteriously never been put into the system. So now i know what it feels like to have 3 guns and 2 shotguns pointed at you as you lay face down on the asphalt being cuffed.
That being said, Indian food is really good, but according to my bowels, needs to be expelled quickly within 4 hours.

everyone says you should
stack them in piles by size

sell them reluctantly

and charge just enough to get your next Goya.

actually no one says that.

"I dont want to change for the better, I wanna change for the worse!"

-me

"that just must be how they freak it up here."

-me, after seeing an albino squirrel near syracuse

Now if we really were to stop what we were doing,
crouch down and pick up our habits.
Would we let them follow us around
still? Or angered by our own patterns, would we level
our eyes with them, crush them with our hands,
swallow them whole?

I say lets get the nerds together.
you know what I mean man? Lets just get all kinds of nerds, shove them into one small space and explode the world one mind at a time. I would be included in all this of course, me being a nerd about Doctor who, Godzilla, and the original Power Ranger series, which would fit into some part of the deal somewhere....anyways what Im trying to say is that when it comes down to it, we're all a nerd about something, weather its beating Final Fantasy 1-10 within a summer or reading 29 doctor who books before school starts. Be it philosophy, Poetry, Sports Stats, Fashion, Video games, whatever, we're all experts at somthing, and its our duty to uphold our expertise in that area, so that when the day comes, when the glory of nerdom is held in our collective fists, none shall be found lacking, and we'll all click together like a key fitting into the lock of science. and unscew the world.
think about that.

now go and figure out how to beat that Space Orc with only two Fire Orbs

So Emily got me 29 Doctor Who books for my birthday, and I've been trying to read them in chronological order, which is hard because their numbered all funny. What follows is a log of the books I've read so far, and a breif summery.

1. Doctor Who and the Unearthly Child. Two school teachers follow a young girl to her home to find she lives in a telephone booth with a creepy old man. Well the telephone booth is really the TARDIS and the creepy ol man is the doctor. the two teachers stumble into the booth only to find its really a time ship. (Time And Relative Dimensions In Space, actually.) so the doctor is forced to take them along his travels rather than have them go back and tell everyone on earth about him. Then they have a sort of played out caveman adventure which I was less than impressed with.

2. Doctor Who and the Daleks. This story finds the doctor, and his companions battling the merciless Daleks. (no really they actually removed mercy from their emotional structure [along with love, compassion, and affection]) the funny thing is the Daleks look pretty rediculous...sort of like a salt shaker with a gun and a suction cup arm.... hardly a frightening image but nonetheless they become the doctors greatest foe in the future and have spawned legions of other plots to take over earth and the galaxy and mebbe all existance as well.

On another note, if you are sick of boring music check out sounds are active which has some very original and crazy fresh new junk happenin.

thats all for now. Im off to finish my latest Doctor Who book: Marco Polo.

So I went shopping today for cornerstone. Got mad food. Went and played on the worship team at youth group which is always a good time. Then I came home with Jeff and packed all my crap and clothes. oh man- I packed my toiletries, and I have like TONS of stuff in this ziploc bag. Its stuffed full of all kinds of thingys. Now I know why girls carry purses...man.
thats embarassing. Anyways I won't be back till.....next sunday.....so you wont see me or read stuff about me for a lil bit. (even though I havent written anything in a long while....whatever man) Ok bed time now. until next time (as my hot bro John would say)

Behave, and Be Safe.

So this morning I found out that the pirate girl who always winks at me is actually Princess Zelda. I couldn't beleive it....so that makes me like the third generation Link or something then. I spent at least 2 hrs playing Zelda: Wind Waker this morning and I dont regret a second of it. That game is killer baby. killa.
So we leave for Cornerstone this saturday....I still have to pack and get off to Aldis with Paul n Dave l...but who cares....I gots mad time.

Heres to eating breakfast at 2 in the afternoon.


and turning 19 in 15 days.

im going to eat dinner.

Act 3 of Tom and Andy's Fantastic Journey is online.

check it out at Andy's Blog

So today amounted to me and Liam and Booster and Andy all playing video games. It sounds like it sucked. But it was awesome. Details would only detract from the experience, trust me. The only thing thats worth mentioning is that my lil bro mike called me hot today and Kate remarked that Russo looked adorable driving his car. mercy.

Ok so today after worship practice, I called up Liam and was like "whats up" and hes like "nothin'" and Im all like "cool man. whatever you know" and hes like "yea man" then i go "lets skate" and he goes "yeah ok. come get me" and im like "yea yea sure man." so then i call up other people too like Sarah, who was at dance, and then Kate's cell, which was turned off. then Emily and shes all not home too so Im like: man. No girls. dang yo. Then i take jim over to the wolfs cuz im down like that and take off to liam's. So we skate and stuff, jump on this cone, and then drive around some more. sometime during all this Liam calls a Padiddle and offers his cheek to me. For the record I did NOT kiss him, so don't beleive what all the tabloids say. Or whatever. Cuz maaan...they are so wrong. There was none of that happenin. Nope. ok click here to avoid the awkward ending.

My unibrow is growing back. Thats one thing I've noticed. The other is that playing in the rain still rocks.
My day amounted to celebratin' Jim and Johns birthdays and running around in the rain with Emily. All in all it was good stuff. The blog part of my head is still preocupied with the story on Andy's Blog though. If he doesnt write the next Act I'm going to write that sucka tomorrah. But for now its Ramen and Tea. All night long baby. All night long.

I'm co-writing a story with Andy on his blog right now. Check it out at http://deadphilosophers.blogspot.com/

Other than writing the second act just now....this day is pretty dull. Yesterday I ate cake with Jeff and Paul. Then we went to see Phone Booth, which was an intense freaking movie. Pretty good too. If you can take 70 F bombs per minute. Anyways...i think I'll go do something worthwhile....like..pet that dog thats right over there.

Sunday Mo'nin' Music: k-os "superstarr pt. 1" (his website) (really freaking cool site, If it doesn't work then put this in your browser: www.kosexit.com)

Went to Whitney's Prom the other night. It was hotness. It wasn't like your traditional prom, with dates and flowers and all that being mandontory. It was just like whatever just come over and dance suckers. Which I did, for better or for worse the kids wont soon forget that night. So now Its that time of the morning where, you just havent woken up yet but you are physicly awake....man right now this crazy raggae rap music makes perfect sense.

A talk with my funny buddy Zack.

BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: time for shoppin
fluteofthefallen: hahahha
fluteofthefallen: where?
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: the sword store aperrently
fluteofthefallen: hahahaaha
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: jimmys b-day is coming up
fluteofthefallen: loser
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: shush you
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: go play with your rat
fluteofthefallen: hahaha
fluteofthefallen: no
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: hehe
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: bye man
fluteofthefallen: f*** you man
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: hahahhaahaha
fluteofthefallen: thats not cool
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: your so cute when you swear
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: hahahahhaahahah
fluteofthefallen: i gotta live with that bearst
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: im just messin
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: hahahah i know
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: alrighty for real though
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: lets date
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: hahahahahahhaha
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: no erally
fluteofthefallen: ....
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: hahahahahah
fluteofthefallen: ....
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: im killing myself tomorrow
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: hahahahaha
fluteofthefallen: urge to block tom rising
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: this is the greatest imn convo ever
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: im putting on my blog
fluteofthefallen: rising
fluteofthefallen: noooooo
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: say hi to my blog readers zack
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: hiiii everyone
fluteofthefallen: wahhhhh
fluteofthefallen: hi
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: good boy...
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: remeber your the submissive one
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: hahahaa
fluteofthefallen: no ser.
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: oh mercy
fluteofthefallen: go play in traffic
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: my dog just ate a mouse
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: taht was soo gross
fluteofthefallen: hahaha
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: ok for real though im off shopping
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: see ya man
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: buddy buddy
fluteofthefallen: ya...

so the other day I shaved off my potential uni-brow, and my sideburns. it made me think...even though i look cool without a uni brow and without sideburns....it will just grow back. why do we keep trying to change who we really are when in the end...nothings changed? I could shave my unibrow until my dying day and that sucker would just keep coming back...every day it would slowly grow and grow and grow....until my true colors sprouted again.
maybe its time we all threw our razors of discontentment away and let our wild, un fashionable hairs grow in where ever they darn well please.
Death to fashion. Bring back the Hair.

Why not eat a cat?I mean we eat all sorts of other meats but not cat you know? something ive been thinking about lately. So I've been making some rock music with my new found freind Shawn lately. He's an interesting fellow. He likes emo rock and Jesus, which is alright with me. Other than that I havent been up to much but chillin with my bro. I got the new Joy Electric album entitled "The Tick Tock Treasury" today and man...it brings the heat, the bleep bloop electric sweet heat i might add. Ive got 4 albums this week.....i need to slow down...i just can't stop buying the music. it calls to me in my sleep Come, Thomas...purchace me baby...im on sale... and so on. So does B.S. but thats another story. and another blog.

If a war is to be fought, then let it be fought with words. Let nouns and verbs be our shield and spear, let adjectives be our bombs."

-Sir Nathan Barrington, author of How to Kill a Man Using Only Words, 1973

"Throw your hands up. Throw your hands up. Throw your, throw your hands up. Throw your hands up. Throw your hands up. Throw. Your. Hands. Up."

-Limp Bizkit, 2001

quotes found at pointlesswasteoftime.com... i think it says alot.

Mowing your lawn sucks. and dont you forget it

sO This iS.....Tuesday right.... yea i got up today...out of my bed. And read some RC Sproul and Geisler, two highly intelligent Christian Theologians (spelled wrong, yes) who schooled me on the historicity of the New Testement. Its great to put some intelligent feet to my faith... and a good way to start a day. Then I worked out for a bit...ate...and then Zack called while I was shaving and we agreed on going out to eat chinese, which later turned into Thai Food when we discovered that the Mandarin was closed and "The King And I" was across the street. Ive never had thai food and that junk was good. spiced up as all get out and strange...but still good. It did make me miss my sweet chinese seseme chicken though...
so after we've been stuffed with this crazy spicey food we went over to Tops, and discovered the New Improved CRACK. its called ... Cookies and Creme Hersheys milkshake...oh mercy....its incredible...imagine an oreo in liquid form...that just caresses your taste buds like anything. mmm....so yea ive been looking on the internet all night for research crap for a paper thats dew tomorrow...but that was just not happening...so after listening to the entire Chevelle CD....I decided to Blog away the night.
And Blog I did. Suckers.

So my weekend happened. On saturday morning, I was doing my laundry one minute, and the next i was napping with Paul G. and Rob, listening to Coldplay. Im still trying to figure out how that happened. Lots of stuff happened before that however, like me jim joel paul rob and liam all galavanting around town, Chase Pitkin, Goodwill. Nothing was sacred. We went to Wal-Mart where paul chased me around the store the entire time, (he was mad for some dumb reason....doughnuts, throwing, head, you get the idea) so finally we escaped and came home....where we ate. And chilled owt.
Sunday found me fighting brian with these foam swords, ending with a thrust to the eye for me....I look like I got in a fight now...with my eye all scraped and puffy. Whatever, it justs adds to my thug apeal, which is in abundance today, trust me. The Bramble never lies....

This morning I watched two consecutive episodes of Power Rangers Ninja Storm. It turns out that Blake and Roger are actually good rangers who have been brain washed by Lothor. Why didn't I see that coming? So there was all this drama with Blake, the blue thunder ranger, fighting his own blood brother, Roger the red thunder ranger, to get him to the good side again. The best part about this was Blake yelling "Have you lost your Ninja mind??" oh man...beautiful ...Then Lothor cooked up this shell monster randomly...and all the rangers had to work together to defeat him, which they did, they transformed into their ninja megazords, and rocked his candy, causing Dustin, the Yellow Ranger, to exclaim "Crustacian Detonation!" as if we all couldn't see the shelfish monster explode.
All in all it was good way to start my morning... now i just have to wait for Jim to get home so we can Pump some serious iron. Seriously.

Hip Hop is dead. Long Live Hip Hip. (www.lasymphony.com) (www.pigeonjohn.com)

The other night I unleashed Tom Lake's Heavy Metal Onslaught apon the kitchen and my un-suspecting parents. I did this my holding my amp above my head and screaming sentances with words in it like "Hot", "Death", and "Tom Lake" in them. My parents didn't seem to get it though...and kept on talking about ebay and hunting gear and pottery.
Boy did they miss out.

news breif from The Onion:

Small-Town Residents Come Together For Arby's Raising
BUFORD, PA—Buford's 322 residents, as well as many citizens of surrounding towns, came together over the weekend for a good old-fashioned Arby's raising. "People came from as far away as Lancaster to pitch in," said local delivery-truck driver Jonathan Beckman, 44. "It was a real team effort: Me, Zachary Fordice, and Eli White poured the foundation while old Benjamin Wetzel built the prep-tables, and the womenfolk installed the booths' vinyl seat covers." Beckman said his wife Maryellen "can't wait" to whip up a fresh homemade batch of Arby's famous Horsey Sauce.

Todays Episode is "Doctor Chill"

Today all my classes were cancelled except for one! it was ultra-hotness. like imagine-me-in-purple-thermal-wear-hotness. thats the kind of thing im talking about. so i get home and end up having this conversation with myself....all you need to know is the words "chill" and "Tom Lake" were said way to much....so yea all of you need to check out www.joyelectric.com and fall in love with this man's beautiful music, while I go read more Doctor Who....
Tune in next time for: "Poetry Slam Power Stomp"

So today I came home from the wolfs and Beanus was here. Total score. Hes staying the weekend cuz his powers out. We hung out wathcing late night shows and transformers light up the neighbor hood witht heir green glow. Everyone's house round here seems to have no power except our street....which is hotness. the only problem is that i cant call anyone cuz half my freinds phones are down....luckily i have a doctor who book to read. Rob says my blog is freakin weird. shows how much he knows.
so i think we need something to do....im going to go find us some marble works those things are AWESOME! !! i played some a em's house las night and now i cant stop thinking about them....it is time.

I finished my flannery oconnor book today. It was freaking awesome. and extremely messed up. It might take me a while to figure out what the heck she was getting at....if anything at all. At any rate I'm addicted and will be buying her other novel and collection of short stories SOON. So saddle up andy cuz as soon as i finish my Doctor Who book ("Reletive Dementias") I will be going book shopping again. Man i need some tea...ive got this husky cough like you wouldn't beleive....

So anyway, I decided to stop the live journal, just cause it was to, I dunno. . . complicated. I'm just so dumb. Anyway all my post will be here so don't look at the live journal anyway. Touch my toes.

Hey i Just got a Live Journal....which is like a blog, except you can post replys to my posts and...it looks funnier. SO i wont be posting here anymore so check out my crap at http://www.livejournal.com/users/Beautiful_Tombo/. So yea Ill see you all there. you lil chubby chipmunks. you chubby lil chippy munk munks.

"Yo mike peace, I'll be seeing you. Peace out dude. Stay Chilling." -My Dad

Jack hit the stuffed bear's stomach hard with his coffee mug. It didn't have the effect he wanted. The toy bear just laughed, exposing his yellow teeth. Jack backed up, frightened. "Listen, " he said to the large bear "I never did anything during the Toy Craze...I wasn't a part of the burning...if that's what your-"
"I don't care what you are" The bear inturrupted "I'm dying. And so are you." Jack looked at the bear's side, it was torn, some cotten stuffing was hanging out of a gash. The bear must be on his last legs thought Jack. And a dying teddy was never somthing to mess with. But he was cornered, stuck in a dead end alley of sheer rock. The bear began to hobble torwards him. He was massive, about four times Jacks size. With no room to run Jack began to panic. couldn't take his eyes off the throbbing cotton in the monster's side. The bear lunged torwards him with a hiss of sickly anticipation. Before Jack knew what happened, he found he had thrown the mug into the wall of rock near the beast's side. The cup shattered, shooting shards of ceramic into the bear's raw wound. The bear roared in pain and twisted to the ground, his snout landing inches from Jack. He looked straight into the bear's big, black, eyes.
"Don't freak with a puppet on a pilgrimage." he said. The bear's dying eyes widened as he understood. His last words were too faint for Jack to make out, but they sounded apologetic. He picked up the shards of clay and laid them on the dead bear's chest in the shape of a roman cross.
Jack then continued his journey, his strings reaching up into the heavens, and his wooden joints moving as directed.

Today, I came downstairs after reading a Flannery O'Connor story, rumaged in the fridge, and shook my socks in the air, caught up in the throughs of manhood. Meanwhile my mom and Sue looked with the bewilderment that women get when looking at something extremely masculine. So masculine that they can barely detect it. Like when you blow those dog whistles and nobody hears it but the dog. Yea that was like this. Except ...you know im the dog....and my ...socks...are the ..nevermind.
It's a crazy life and its moments like these that make me remember the time I tried to make a catapault out of a lawnchair. and ended up shattering a plastic squirtgun into my large nose, giving it the infamous shape it has kept to this day.

I had better put on my socks...

Hey Guys, my name's Tom
I'm the new crack
I'm all like fashion and stuff
I'm a woman
I'M A WOMANNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!
Femmanin to the maxety-maxest possible.

le femmmmmme
hahahahahahahahaha

Random quotes from Random people.
"I wanted to be black at age 14, so when they say I dont respect the culture, truth is I only rap because I'm not smart enough to write a book. I've never paid a parking ticket. Its 20 dollars now, 300 then. You want your money, come and get it. But better bring 200 guns and a hundred men." -Sole (underground rapper, I heard recently.)


"The young generation, every one, really needs to act seperated and sactified and stop adjusting and bending to fit people."
-Jonny, my younger brother making me proud again on his blog: (http://www.reallovering.blogspot.com)


"I won't dance, dont ask me, i wont dance with you. My heart won't let my feet do things they shouldn't do." -Stacey Kent (jazz singer.)


"Hey now that your single, we totally gotta get together!" -Rob, (one of his famous statments that could be taken two ways)


" Im'a speak to myself in riddles, because I cant figure it out. Need a 60 second solution, absent of doubt. reading zero point zero zero in my savings account. sowing seeds of success and can't anticipate drought." -Joey the Jerk (member of the mighty LA Symphony)


"I like Adam's hair today. I think its the best it's ever looked." -Me (to Brian) (at bible study last night)

Today, my deodorant ran out, and I was reminded that nothing lasts forever in this world. Not even Tom's All Natural Woodspice. Sigh. I still have my Old Spice High Endurance Fresh though, so all is not lost. Still i do miss that natural kick that my other stick had. kind of like sticking your face in a candle, insense, and popourri all at once.... Ok so that sounds gross, but the stuff really smelled good....youll have to trust me. anyways, what Im trying to say is dont take your deodorant for granted. Cuz, one day my freind, that big stick will gone, and you'll be left with an empty husk of what once was.
Savor it.

"Im the Pride of the Peaches!" -Homsar

Dear Andrew,
Whats up with your latest blog? All you said was a name, and nothing else. how dumb is that right? Would you please explain to all the people who read your posts religously, what exactly is a Paul Ganguly, and what it does?
Thanks,

Crappfully Yours,

Tom Lake
Rochester, NY

In honor of Monday, i will post a poem by Billy Collins. (note: i did not right this, so dont be a hater)

The Flight Of The Reader

You think we would have had enough
of one another
after all the rain streaming down these windows,
the walks out to the garden when it clears,
the same yellow and white flowers,
all the sleepless nights-
the toy car going in circles on the bed table.

But still, you stay perched on my shoulder,
cricket or bluebird,
wild parrot digging your claws into my loud shirt.

Is it because I do not pester you
with the invisible gnats of meaning,
never release the whippets of anxiety from their crates,
or hold up my monstrous mirror,
a thing the size of a playing feild?

Whatever makes you stay,
I hate to think of that morning
when I will wake up to find you gone,
heading torward the open sea,
dragging the cables that bound us together,
leaving me with nothing more to say.

But don't get me wrong.
It's not that I cannot live without you,
cannot sit under an ordinary green tree
with no desire to reach for the pen in my pocket,
or lie contented on a couch all day,
one hand over my mouth.

It's not like I have a crush on you
and instead of writing my five-paragraph essay
I am sailing paper airplanes across the room at you-
it's not that I can't wait for the lunch bell
to see your face again.

It's not like that. Not exactly.


-Billy Collins

So the other day Emily and Brian were finally allowed to ride with me so, to celebrate we (mejimboosterEMILYbrian), went to Media-Play...which was closed...so somehow we ended up scaling one of those giant piles of snow you find in parking lots. After we were on top, Brian started howling and scuffling around like a rabid wolf...his demeanor soon affected us, and we found ourselves screaming "PANTS" and throwing shopping carts off the hill with animal-like-abandon. This soon got old though so we went to K-Mart and Krispy Kream and then to the wolfs and the warm embrace of the Powerpuff Girls...what more could i ask from a thursday?
"There is no art but Pollock."

I finished my Doctor Who book this morning...what a satifying feeling to know that a fictitous universe has once again been saved by an eccentric man who travels in a machine that looks like a telephone booth. i could go on and on about it but then you would probably stop reading. so i wont. the other night i hung out with "LIAM". (and sarah and lynne and my charming girlfreind ect.) we went places like "WEGMANS" (VegmunD's) and "WAL-MART" (Val-MahT) and had lots of "WHOLESOME FUN". The nights most enthralling moment was either the circle of "FREINDSHIP POWER" we made around lynnes car in a vain attempt to try an open her car in which she locked the keys in...or sarah trying to teach me to do this nifty hip swivle dance. phrases like "squish the grapes" and "from your hips" were said to much giggling from myself and others. all in all a jorb well done if i may say so.
until next time, remember: THIS IS NOT YOUR BODY.

i went pants shopping with liam and jim yesterday, and chaos ensued. i discovered that the three of us stick out like a sore thumb in the mall. but we aquired pants and that made everything ok. we then met up with emily and kate and went and saw Too Much Light Makes The Baby Go Blind at Geva Theatre with ROCKED THE HOUSE. ive never been to a play, that had a rubber squirrel flying over a nylon sea, and phil collins with a sock over his head, and some guy spitting on the crowd. one of the funniest things ive seen was Katrina wrestling with one of the guys over a squirt gun that he was soaking the crowd with. i have to say that was the most fun ive ever had in a theatre. Later we all ended up in Brians nest watching him defeat Ling Poo on his samurai video game. truly a night to be remembered.
"life is probably going to be alright....death aint nothing to to freak with." -paraphrased Demon Hunter lyrics

this morning i feel like martha stewart. meaning im doing practical things like laundry and cleaning and working out.(which consisted of me doing these things with weights while screaming at my body..things like "i hate you!" and "your worthless!". my brother is nagging me to fix the nintendo. duty calls.
i promise a post in the near future will not be a complete waste of time.

no seriously.

This marks my first post readers. today i have decided that Doctor Who could eisily defeat Darth Vader, and entire Borg mothership.
ah. the day has not gone to waste.