its not that i cant up and go
change. Its not that I can't
physicly say no or yes
when im not used to doing so,
or get up earlier, or try and remember
things more or just plain clean my room
once in a while.
its not that I can't its just that my past
record is so bad I doubt my ability to change.
I doubt that I'll ever learn until things unravel
and i really screw up all
over the place.

and that, my freinds, bothers me.