WovenHand Live Dates? no love from Cornerstone. No love.

WovenHand @Cornerstone Festival, Bushnell, IL June 30, 2005

Coming Soon: WovenHand US tour in July/August 2005 ....Check back soon for details.

I just found this on the SoundsFamilyre site. No love from the c-stone organizers the past two years... now they decide to get friendly with Woven Hand. Its far too late.

Date Change Jump on it!

Ok so the aforementioned show is now going to be going down on Saturday. Getting all these bands in one place is not easy. I hope some of you can still come though...

April 9th
Matt's basement. 6pm
Free obviously.

call for directions

Real Live Preacher

Recently published a really good article on real Christianity, honesty, and bumping into strangers. Its really good. Really, actually, pretty interesting and good. Here it is.

Upcoming show! Sunday! April 10th at Matt's Basement. 7pm. free admission obviously.


For those of you who didn't know, me and a bunch of my friends are putting on a show soon. This will be the first show we've ever assembled and will feature all the friends of ours who are in bands. Well... a few of them. This will be Epilogue's 2nd show ever, and Ju-Jajuba's first, making the evening super special. Also, matt's brother Cameron, will possibly be DJing in between sets, dropping beats like its all he's got left. His one man band Dummy Destroy, if you haven't seen him play before, is sick. So watch out for that.

The bands playing are:
Alethis Metanoia: If you haven't seen these guys you really need to. Comprised of JJ Givens, Phil Herford (on the what? oh the violin), John Lake (I know him), and me fillin in on the bass until they get a real one and kick me out. These guys have written some epic, sweeping, intelligent rock and soul that will beat the mess out of you or something.

Epilogue (although thats not our name really) This is the band that I'm the most involved in so far. Its a collection of some of my best friends: Joel Dow, Paul Scota, Brian Jackson, and Jeff Brice. We write songs that tell a story about a little boy and a little girl who meet and build a raft and go to a magical forest on an island. Its really a ton of fun to write and play with these guys and at this particular show, we have a few suprises in store...

Twenty PS : Emotional, heartfelt, triple guitar threat from my pals Adam, Sean, Jake, and the esteemed Matt Farrish. These guys put together some very nice melodic, electric-acoustic songs that sound fantastic live. Bring tissues.

Ju-Jajuba: This is a band I just formed with Cori. We aim to create evocative, hook laden preschool power pop. (Don't worry we only have one song so far)

The show is basically just for our friends and our friends friends, and we just want to have a good time and hang out while hearing some great tunes from our friends. All are welcome, I think my neighbor Sean is coming, and may do an improv performance at some point...(8 yr old east coast hardcore)...My parents may even make an appearance at some point... It's going to be rediculous. Please come if you can. Even if you hate music, come just to hang out or something. It would mean alot for us to have some people to watch us play a few songs.

Here is a link to a beautiful watercolor joel did, that doubles as a flier for the show: www.geraldandscarlet.blogspot.com.

And here is TwentyPS's purevolume link: www.purevolume.com/twentyps.

And here is a link to Cori's blog which talks about Ju-Jajuba a little more in depth: www.corisgarden.blogspot.com.

What are your favorite records?

Music is one thing I am passionate about. Especially music that deals with my faith in some way. These are albums I am deeply involved with for several reasons. They evoke deep feelings by the musicianship itself, and also make an incredible statement about the Christian faith in music. Christians and music is something I could write for hours about, and probably will, but for now, here are three or four of my favorite records.


1) Sufjan Stevens: Welcome to Michigan.
I don't think I can say enough about this album. Everytime I hear it, something grabs me inside. Sufjan has somehow captured some deep human truths and buried them in beautiful songs about people who live in michigan. This one took me a year to really delve into it, and not fall asleep during the latter half. But now that I'm in, I'm all the way in. Every song on it is like a good meal. It just feels so right.

2) Soul-Junk: 1957.
This is a record that every avant guard "forward thinking" musical person, does not want you to hear. This changed the way I see music, hip-hop, and christian art. While Sufjan Stevens captured humanity in beautiful musically creative ways, Soul-Junk takes beautiful things, and plays them backwards through synthesizers, drops a staggering, monsterous beat over top and them starts spitting things into a microphone. But instead of an hour of noise, Galaxalag and Slo-Ro, the two members that comprise Soul-Junk, create one the most memorable, strange, and catchy noise-hop albums ever. Music is found dead and stuffed into a closet here. But in its place is the most original thing ever made by any artist proclaiming to be followers of Christ. But few people will recognize the genius behind this record. Whenever I hear a christian say "We know the Creator of the universe, we should be the most creative people around! Christians need to take back art!" I can't help but think Soul-Junk has already done that. But the Church doesn't want to hear it. They just want sunday worship to sound bigger, dumber, and fatter, (or older, simpler, and dryer) while creativity dies of starvation out back by the dumpster.

3) Joy Electric: The White Songbook/ Hello Mannequin

Another "forward thinking" musician, Ronnie Martin proves himself over and over again as a synth pop master, and beautiful songwriter on The White Songbook, and Hello Mannequin. I cannot get past the worlds one man can create with synthesizers and vocals only. The White Songbook captures the brevity of man, the quest for recognition, and the dying hopes of forgotton people in an epic, sweeping album. By the time I actually heard the latter half of this cd, (it took me a while to get through the first half of the disc) I was floored. Over and over again Ronnie creates worlds within worlds, and draws you deeper into his music. Someday I hope the world gets past Joy Electric as being a novelty act, or "gay club music" and sees the artistry and hard work that Ronnie packs into every album. Awe inspiring musicianship is right here. Wake up.


This list will be continued later, but I'm curious... what are your favorite albums?

Danielson Famile Double White Vinyl LP

This is a reminder to myself to follow finish the danielson contest so that I can win the afforementioned Double Album. Oh sweet pickles I want that in a bad way. But I'm not going to talk about the contest in the rare event that another danielson fan reads this and trys to one up me. Yes I am that much of a horrible music snob. I said it, it feels good, and I'm not sorry.

Tronicles of Nordec

Hey everyone, the other day, Jeff Brice, Joel Dow, Brian Jackson, (Paul Scota sadly MIA) and myself were trying to come up with a band name, and well, we suck at this. We over think everything and nothing is "the right fit". So I'm opening this up to the four of you that read this to try and help us out. PLEASE come up with some sort of name, if you've heard our music or not, help us out or else, with Pete as my witness I swear I'll name our band The Tronicles of Nordec. So help me. Some names we're currently tossing around are: The Shining Epilogue, and Pass-a-fist. (just kidding on that last one haha)

help.

Its not the cheese, its whats behind the cheese. -Mike Lake

Heres what Pitchfork had to say about Snow Patrol's latest mix tape release: The Trip

"If you read Pitchfork last year and did all your homework, little of The Trip will strike you as an epiphany. The tracks are illuminative if rarely breathtaking, and will likely yield most listeners a discovery or two. Then again, we've all put together mixtapes: Does Lightbody really like Deerhoof, or does he just want the girl from Brit Lit to think he does?

(tom laughs alone in his living room) (readers stare, somewhat offended, annoyed that tom would waste a post with someone elses music snobbery, as if he wasn't bad enough)

I'm so sorry.

The Cat of Democracy Died the Day I was Born. And it dies still every minute I live

My mind is like an un-massaged muscle. It attracts the hands of every eager massuse, with oily anticipation. Your compliments gird me in pink, and parade me around the city.

I give, I give, I give.

Beleive Again. New LP's from Mae, Copeland



I was never terribly familiar with Copland except with that song "walking downtown" which is incredibly catchy, and just a good tune all around. Well they have a new one coming and you can hear the first 45 seconds of every song here. And wow. I wasn't immediately caught up in the songs, but as they went by, there was some very good stuff happening.

One of the songs sounded kind of beatles influenced... or maybe Queen... and then an accordian enters the room and i was really thrown off. (arent these guys supposed to be shoegazer emo?) And then a song came on which inspired this post. They began to do some things that reminded me of The Juliana Theory's Emotion is Dead. Remember that album?

Remember when the term emo didn't smack of sold out radio bands? Thats the kind of vein Copeland is touching on with this new release. Which is terribly exiting for me. After highschool, it seemed there would never be another the moon is down, or emotion is dead. Especially not with all the Taking Back Yellow Eat World Starting Promise Line Thursday bands doing their thing. Now thats not to say Copeland is going to save emotional music or anything. They kind of have a classic rock thing going on here as well that kind contrasts greatly with my indie-emo nostalgia, but nonetheless, I'm glad a band out there is pushing some nice tunes, reminescent of some of my favorites.

Speaking of my favorites. Mae has a new song up at purevolume. Its called "The Ocean" and it is lifechanging. So definitely check that song out and pick a few of their new cd's "the ever glow" when that comes out in a week or so. So they can get rich and sell out. Not that it's possible for Mae to sell out... seeing as they already sing in falsetto, and do acoustic versions of their songs... But you know what I mean.

Mae: www.purevolume.com/mae
Copeland: www.themilitiagroup.com

This is what the internet is for. Hamsters. Synths. MIDI.

I ran across this at Pitchfork today, in their track reveiws. I guess somebody hooked a bunch of hampsters up to a MIDI synth, and recorded them. I'm not sure how it did all this, but you can read all about it here, and even listen to it, which I am about to do...

Heres a joke poem I posted on Gina's blog:

I'm trying to be brave. But all my petals wither in the winter. And your such a youthful sapling. Will the spring forgive?

Say Yes! to Brutal Fight!

So if your into any sort of hard music, here are some great bands:

Brutal Fight: A great band off of Strikefirst Records (a division of Facedown) who really has a sick, tight sound worked out. Nothing new here, but undeniably evocative. In that "I'm going to turn into a bear" way.

Comback Kid: If you didn't know already that Comback Kid is the junk, you had better pick up "Turn it Around" and their new disc "Wake The Dead" and pretend you've always been down. Because this is olde time Hardcore, complete with gang yells, overwhelmingly positive messages, and nonstop blast beats.

Norma Jean: Or if dark, technical, abstract, whipping pole Metal is more your thing. Well you already knew Norma was the way to go for that.

Strongarm: One of the best early 90's Christian Hardcore bands. Their stuff is suprisingly refreshing to hear after all the psuedo-emo, dark, stab-core, "kill us till we're dead, oh God I want to be dead" bands that are everywhere.

Of Jake and of Tina... O Jacob wherefore art thou? And for wherehappance has Tina been?

I miss Jake and Tina. Its official. They need to come back. Or comment on my blog... or meet me in Michigan on april 1st and 2nd... or something... If you two are reading this, just know that I love you guys, and just know that everytime I open our new dishwasher and all the steam floats up into my face making little moisture droplets form on my forehead, I can still feel your warm hearts.

Goodnight you two.

Church Breakups and Make ups

So my church made up with me this past sunday. Last sunday it knew it alienated me with its loud "hey! hey! hey!" gang shouts, and its shouting, guest speaker, madman. (who still got some good points through) So this Sunday it goes ahead and sings some nice hymns to me, and really just did things in a very Tom Lake way... which I know shouldn't be the case every week (lest the non-Tom Lake church attendees feel alienated themselves) but I appreciated it nonetheless.

In short, we decided to stay together. Bethel, I love you and I'll see you next week.

-Tom xoxo

The science behind Brain Bullet is actually very straight-forward.
It's a software application that sits on your Windows desktop, that delivers safe, positive and unobtrusive affirmations on your computer's screen. These "affirmations" are simply statements of positive intent, like:
— I learn fast
— I am calm and confident always
— I enjoy speaking on stage
— I attract my ideal partner easily
Because of the speed in which they're delivered to your screen, your conscious mind will merely see a "flicker" — it won't have the pace to capture the message. And that's great — because, your "conscious" mind isn't responsible for changing your automatic reactions and habits. Only your subconscious is!

-This is an excerpt from an email I got in which the subject read: "Develop Super human Powers!" Of course I couldn't resist checking it out. Apparently its a strange program that screws with your brain while your on the computer. I want it. Anyone with a good computer should seriously help me out and see if you can download this sucker for me...

or if your in for a good laugh... heres the website of this thing: http://eliteinnercircle.com/reports/c/4EW

Enjoy.

When We're Far From Here

I want to change as much as I have from last summer till now... this coming year. I really dont want to be as clueless as I am right now next year.

In my life, almost nothing is coincidence... im trying to change small things in my life, in order to mature and just be happier in life. In my childrens lit class i am doing a presentation on a book, about a boy who is doing just that. Its perplexing how the God of the Universe, would choose such subtle ways to communicate things. I'm not questioning His ways, He knows far better than I, how to talk to me... and what the best way is to do that. So this must be it.
Reading Ragged Dick in my room with Jake and Tina, listening to an entire Mum record, and wondering, how our lives will be... when we're far from here.

When I'm grown, and married... and Jake and Tina are too, over in Illinois, or where ever they end up. And you, where ever the heck you end up. How will it be? To have kids, to have spouses? houses, apartments, jobs, careers, degrees...

We'll look back at our confused twenty somthing selves, and remember how sweet it all was. The lack of direction, the un-answered questions... The search for vision, for motivation... all the dreams that poured out of our heads... crossing eachother, creating a mess.

Our older selves, so locked into a routine, into a lifestyle, will look back at that as just another peice of life... and what a fun one too... now's the time when we can do anything.

But what about marraige and kids and all that? I can't imagine looking into the face of a child, knowing that he was once a part of me, and he literally came out of my wife. And now he's going to grow up in this world with ME as his father. Egad. What an absolutely mind blowing thing that is to think about...

And what about the whole marraige thing? Does spending the rest of your life with someone other than you, freak anyone (i mean you single folks) else out around here? You know how annoying that person must get eventually? man...

From watching my parents, I think I've found that eventually you go through so much crap together in marraige, and you work through so many things, and you get on absolutely every nerve of the other person to the point where you come out the other side, full circle, victorious. Like in the Lion King, at the end, after Simba defeats Scar, and it starts to rain and put out all the fires. Well as you may remember, all this steam and mist is every where as this dramatic music is playing. And then you can just make out the forms of two warriors coming through the mist, as they near, you can see its Timon and Pumba, wartorn, and valiant. Then, you may also remember, Simba gets up on pride rock, and with rain pouring down his reddish brown mane, he roars. Letting Africa know, that he now, is in fact king.

And then his clan roars back.

My friends from Illinois are swing dancing to Half-Handed Cloud.

Who are my friends from Illinois?

they're jake and tina.

Who is Half-Handed Cloud?

its a one man band.

(who is affiliated with sufjan stevens, {he played trumpet on michigan} and makes strange, quirky pop tunes. and behold, they are really good. here is his website, and an mp3 you can hear: "Animals cut in two")

Keeping things updated.

PJ Sweeney: www.pipsworld.blogspot.com (trust me.)

Joels blog: www.hartofwar.blogspot.com

Jims blog: www.jimsblacklines.blogspot.com

Corinna's blog: www.corisgarden.blogspot.com

Samantha Fox's blog: www.silkenskiesofstars.blogspot.com

John Lake's blog: www.breath-grasp.blogspot.com

Sean (9-yr old neighbor): www.seanmusicking.blogspot.com

My Front, My Fashion, My Security.

One of the greatest feelings for me is change. Mainly because I am so bad at it. If I can change, and progress one bit, and become one bit better... its a big deal. I was up late talking to Jim and Cori the other night, and I compared who I was last year to who I am now. Many things are different. Which I like, but more importantly, the thing that is different about his year, is the conviction that God is directing at me. I've asked God to speak to me, in whatever way He wants to, and He has, but I nearly miss it everytime. I've been thinking about fashion, and I know god is saying something to me about my image, and about what I wear, how I act, and who I am.

Part of me, finds a strange comfort in the way I dress. I think dressing "indie" or "geek" or whatever, serves more than one purpose. Naturally, I feel comfortable wearing what I wanna wear, how I wanna wear it. And I'm fine with that. But another part dresses indie, (or whatever you call the way I dress) in order to have a style thats different, and above the common person. My Converse Weapons are hotter than some regular joes shoes. And my shirt that says "the chariot" scribbled in blue, is alot cooler than your metallica t-shirt, or your Gap tank top. I think a part of me dresses like I do, in order to feel in some way, better than others.

Fashion is definitely a security. A thing that easess my insecurities about how I look. And that bothers me. I decided a while ago that:

A) only my Creator can truly fufill my need for love on the deepest level, and that it is foolish to look elsewhere for any kind of self-worth, or healthy self-image. Why would I want my self worth to come from the compliments of women, from the security of a relationship, or from how I look, when only the God of the Universe can truly fufill these things?

B) Therefore, anything that is in the way from me getting all of my self-worth, and confidence, and security from my Father, should be cast down. Death to fashion, yes, but death to relationships as well. Death to flirting, acting, snobbery, gossip and slandering others to feel good about myself. How can I really grow, when I run to so many other things before God, to find my worth?

I should mention, that I think being comfortable with your appearance, being attractive to guys/girls, and being in a healthy relationship, are all things that are good, and that should boost your self esteem, and make you feel good about yourself. I don't think that their inherently bad or anything. I just think that many people see those things as the most important factors in determining your worth. And thats just not true.

And if it takes tearing yourself away from comforts to find out who you really are, well lets just do it.

Yesterday I wrestled Joel Dow and Sean Fantigrossi.

Much of the experience is documented on Sean's Blog.(www.seanmusicking.blogspot.com, see entry: "Sean Fantigrossi vs. Joel Dow") Which is obviously fully endorsed/recommended by myself.

Worship.

I have been thinking about worship alot lately. The reason being, my church is sort of known for its bombastic music, and people seem to love it... but i usually am not comfortable there. I think it's extrovert worship music. Get up and stomp the devil music. shout and scream kinda stuff. In my personal life I've found worship to be deepest when the lights are out, and no ones watching. I heard Ron Sykes say once that just as a man and a woman's most intimate moments are behind closed doors, so should a mans relationship with God be. That when we go out to church,
to worship its an outward expression of love. Like taking your girl/guy out for ice cream or something. A public display of affection. But the real stuff, and indeed, the nuts and bolts of an actual relationship happens when no one else is around.

Which makes sense to me. But I guess the real problem I have is the distance between the outward and inward expression of worship. I think alot of times I equate the outward as the inward. Maybe because I have heard people say things like "that guy really worships". Lets think about that. Based a man's display of exitement, or fervor during worship, it certainly looks like he really is worshipping God. But what of the inside? Many times I compare myself to these "all out worshippers". That if I don't worship like them, then I'm worse off. Which obviously just isn't true. But it still gets to me sometimes.

Let me say here, however, that there are many people I respect who go nuts during worship. And that its my own inhibitions that keep me from expressing myself more fully during worship. I do hope to someday worship God however I want, without feeling every eye on me.

I'm starting to read a book about Worship in the early church. Hopefully it will help sort out some of the issues I have with my church. I really like the people there, and God certainly speaks to me there. I just want something a little more raw, and honest. I think there are alot of youth out there who want real spirituality. Not another church service. Not another worship song. Not another hundred eyes watching you as you find your seat.

But perhaps I'm putting to much pressure on my church. Of course it can't fufill my every spiritual desire. Of course it can't accurately express how I feel about God during worship. Only I can.

"The Locust" -Photo by Samantha Fox. (Of the East Side? of Irondiqoit mind you)

-photo most assuradly taken by Samantha Fox

-submitted by Samantha Fox

-"Broken Rubix Heart" -SF

-Submitted or photo taken by Samantha Fox

-Submitted by Samantha Fox

Tomisthecrap.blogspot.com is pleased to introduce it's new guest artist of the month. From East or maybe West Irondiquoit, please welcome Samantha Fox. A new picture should be up daily, and an artist bio as well. Here are the first two in her "Found Object/Personal Work" Series. Please leave artistic comments when appropriate.

Yesterday I was cleaning my room.

Now this is a big deal for me. For those of you who don't know, my room is a warzone. There is just stuff everywhere. I have a terrible time throwing anything away, and so things stack up and pile, and spill all over the place. That, and I'm lazy. So I was cleaning all this, and setting up my new hamper (again, a big deal for me) and just when I got it all set up, my freaking bookshelf up and falls on me. A sea of books and papers just swept past me. I couldn't beleive it. There wasn't even a good reason for it. One step forward, two steps back.

So that bummed me out. But despite that, I still made progress on my room. Just not as much as I could have. I realized that if I want change, I have to fight for it.

IF ANYONE can get Bizzart on a bill anywhere on feb 11th, 12th or 13th. LET ME KNOW.

Hey everyone.

I just got an email from the SAA guy, and long story short, Bizzart may just be flying up to rochester for a few days. Isn't that just crazy!?!?

go check him out at www.soundsareactive.com in case he really does end up here, you may be able to say a couple of his lines.

Im not going to sleep tonight.

The Legends are True and we are not playing anymore

Sean Fantigrossi has his own blog now. So stop reading about how your friend woke up late for class, is feeling lonely, or how their day went, and go read some Sean. Your not ready. I'm not ready. We're not ready.

www.seanmusicking.blogspot.com

it will work. It just has to.

"Professional Wrestling" by Sean Fantigrossi. This is "RVD" an actual real wrestler.

"Shattering Glass" by Sean Fantigrossi

A scene from a comic book, that my little sister, Sue, drew.

This is Sean. He is my 9 year old neighbor, and a creative force to be reckoned with. Taken with Godzilla movies at a very young age, he once borrowed one a day from me for several weeks at a time, devouring each monster thrashing epic right up to the climatic Godzilla Vs. Destroyah and Godzilla Vs. Megaguiros.

Sean and I even formed a band for a breif time. We were called Bloody Wolves (to much parental disaproval) and our first song was called "Sword Killer". Our music mostly consisted of myself playing random spastic riffs on the guitar, and Sean screaming into a microphone, while standing on a chair. Most of the lyrics were about Godzilla fighting Gigan, and other things about swords and killing swords.

He was the first to declare Russo "the captain" and then "the President." A title he lovingly addresed Russo by until Russo stole a peice of the Unicornicopia puzzle I was working on. He then launched a controversial video campaign to impeach Russo, using the words "butt" and "smelly" in the same sentance while dancing and rapping his distaste for Russo's actions, to much parental concern.

When Sean is not beating up my friends that are guys, and hugging my friends that are girls, he sometimes draws things. I recently dicovered this when he offered to draw the peice entitled "Poetry" and put it on my blog. I agreed, and hope to feature more of his art on here as he draws it.

"Poetry" warrants some discussion here, seeing as it is largely an interpretive work. He told me he would draw a picture of "poetry" and then began to do so. There is a composition journal, and a flower being "added" together to "equal" both those objects sitting together in a feild. By connecting symbols of beauty (the flower) and intellect (the journal) Sean's view of "poetry" is somthing that is both thoughtful and beautiful.

"Unicron devouring a planet, whilst a spaceship watches" By Sean Fantigrossi

Guest Artists:

Sean Fantigrossi will be a reacurring theme here on the site from now on. His artistic musings hopefully will awaken the 8 yr old in all of us. I will hopefully get a pic, and a bio of Sean on here as soon as possible. If you have some doodles that you would like to get on here (and would like to be the next guest artist), please send them to me at the_tombo_elite@hotmail.com. It would be great to get some of Russo's classic Manonizor series, or any of Joel Dow's work. And the rest of you too. I mean that. Email me. Or comment to me. Or else its just me and Sean from here on out. And you know how we do.

"Poetry" by my neighbor Sean. Who will hopefully be a guest artist here more often.

Wanting to want/Finishing things

This past weekend, I went to a B.A.S.I.C. event up at Elim. It was called Destiny Weekend, and it was for college juniors and seniors. I went even though I'm technically still a sophmore. The whole weekend was intended to give students lacking direction and vision, some direction, and help focus on things that actually matter. I was pretty sceptical of the thing, cause it cost money and stuff, but apon ariving, well.. I was floored. (not in the slain in the spirit way)

There were ten kids that came, counting me, so I got to get to know everyone pretty good. There were 3 or 4 different people involved with BASIC who spoke, and then hung out with us for the rest of the time. The incredible part about it was that instead of having some preacher giving a loud, impersonal message, I instead met some honest, down to earth people, who have given up their lives to help college students. It was humbling to know that these people put all this work into something just for me. And it was intense to hear their stories of abandoning nice paying jobs and homes and mortgages, to obey God.

The Spirit of God has been among other things, telling me to give things up. Which is why much of the weekend hit so hard. I'm entering into a time of my life where I am deciding what is truly important, and what is wasted. I look around my room, through the utter mess of it all, its clear to me where I get most of my pleasure, and where most of my time, money, and energy goes. I'm starting to ransack my life. Not in a gung-ho, book-burning, caught up in the moment way, (as i have in the past) but as a sacraficial statement. I really want my room (which i have long looked at as a metaphor for my life) to reflect my spirit. I really want to want the Creator more.

I really don't want to repeat last year.

9 When they reached the place God had told him about, Abraham built an altar there and arranged the wood on it. He bound his son Isaac and laid him on the altar, on top of the wood. 10 Then he reached out his hand and took the knife to slay his son. 11 But the angel of the LORD called out to him from heaven, "Abraham! Abraham!"
"Here I am," he replied.
12 "Do not lay a hand on the boy," he said. "Do not do anything to him. Now I know that you fear God, because you have not withheld from me your son, your only son."
(Gen. 22)

The girl next to me wrote the "you need Jesus" caption after I drew Sputter attacking these mud monsters... so its not an intentional critique on modern evangelism methods.

Frog Belly Rat Bone leaps for joy, when he discovers the treasures that the little boy found.

Well, isn't it?

Here is something I drew during music class last semester.

I'm Sick Of Being Selfish. (lets get it together.)

Colossians 3:12-14
Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

Philippians 2

If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being likeminded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.

For the first time in a long time

I feel like me and God actually had a dialogue, I don't feel "unspiritual" and I am looking forward to a life lived with Him.

I had been rolling over and over in my head my commitment to God the past couple days/weeks. If I truly love Him, why do I seek after so many things that distract me from Him? I seem to be on a relentless quest to entertain myself. Which is foolishness, when the gift of knowing the Creator of the Universe is offered. I mean, come on. I am extremely hesitent when it comes to gicing things up however... I always want to think through what I know, and my motives behind giving up things before I do... and by the time I'm done with all that, I'm too confused to make a decision.

Well, last night God used some essays* that Galaxalag wrote to confirm what I had been thinking about. It hit extremely hard, because Galaxalag is the lead singer in one of my favorite bands, Soul-Junk, so it was a very, lets say "Tom Lake" way for God to speak to me. Its a very personal thing between me and God, and I don't expect it to hit you the same way, but if you've ever wondered about the madman behind Soul-Junk, or are just interested in good christian writing, look into it. He's got some great things to say about Peace in the Church. (and is currently working on a book. which is big news for geeks like me.)

*to find the essays Galaxalag wrote on this site, you have to scroll to the bottom of the larger window, and click galaxalag. Oh and Cori, theres a new one on there!

The Long-Awaited, 100 and One Post. isn't it about time you got yours?

This is just what it looks like. I have written a mini-epic of a post for you all here. Its like a book. Its like a film. Its like that best-of post i did a while back. Its like all of us that have ever dreamed the world could be so much bigger, than the box we grew up in. Lets never stop dreaming, ok friends?



The Birth of the Tom
{I.Bloodlines II.The Depth of the Soul III. Self Facination IV. Andrew Russo Comes Out to Play V.The One called Scarlet VI. Christianhood}



Chapter 1. Bloodlines.

My neighbor tried to get me to go to a Static X show tonight. But i went to bill grays and played the hockey game with jim and liam. Jim actually bounced the puck off of my player into my goal, solidifying his birthright authority over me.

I was born into a small house with lots of brothers. One of them is Jim. Jim, unlike my other brothers, is the tallest, and the oldest. He is a funny mix of a boy who likes poetry and pretty things, (like the sky, and more poetry) and a boy who likes dark, heavy music, about wars and death and redemption. He is as confusing as his twisted, matted, hair, but just as nice looking. Lets blow a trumpet for him or something. He's James Theophilus Lake.

Let us not forget his words here on the blog:

"At a boy tom! try not to suck."

"Poor tom, poor simple tom."

"oh and by the way i have read every blog that you posted today ... i love the one where i beat you in table hocky, that was a fun day."

Thanks Jim, you ol' Tiger you!

Chapter 2: The Depths of the Soul

I am a virgin and I live with my parents.

This has not changed, nor will it ever, unless by some strange deus ex machina intervention happens at the end of the play and marraige befalls me. Until then, you may rest apon this truth.

Chapter 3: Self Facination

The way it wraps about your torso like so. The way you muss up your hair and pose with the mop in the bathroom. With the broom in the storage closet. Or with no accessory at all, alone, just you and your tight gray polo shirt. In the dining hall, underneath the chandelier.

I would never say I am an egotistical facatic, but I have my moments. There's a lesson to be learned from this. Get in touch with yourself.

Chapter 4: Andrew Russo Comes Out to Play

"Narcissistic beast, curse your inherited affliction
Punish the brute and shackle him
Become presentable to the grey-eyed Athene
Find happiness among her perched owls" -Anonymous author with strange ties to the Russo family.

There are some of my friends who get their own section in this 101st post celebration. But I think Andrew's the only one. He has made his presence known on this weblog for sure. Here are a few memorable moments:

"Tom, you are the literary giant of our age. All will bow and tremble below the explosive might of your pen. Your stylistic punctuation is miles ahead of our time. And, Your use of poetic metaphor leaves one feeling as though they had touched the face of God."

Well, that was quite flattering! It seems that Andew is never shy when it comes to laying on comliments! (This is no secret to the ladies out there of course! wink! wink!) How could I reply, but with a humble, but respectful declination of his praise:

Dear commenter,
While I appreciate your comments, and have subconsciencely internalized them, I must inform you that it was not I that wrote the "poetry of the gods" posted on my site. So please, in the near future, remember to read all disclaimers before you jump to conclusions such as me writing such a thick, evocative, peice of literature. Thank you.
# posted by Tom

"Tom: Lately my half a heart has been horribly itchy, does that mean you've been in some kind of danger?"
# posted by Andrew

How true it was, at that very moment, I was mowing the lawn in Illinois, on a riding lawn mower. I dont think I will go into what that entails exactly, for the sake of my readers who are squeamish.

"Go cry to your mommma, you baby!!!"

Oh Andy!

"You're alright Tom, don't let me tell you any different."

Oh Andy!

Chapter 5: The One Called Scarlet.

"it's a good thing we can still be friends." -Joel

Taken out of context, this is even more touching.

Chapter 6: Christianhood.

I have always beleived Christ to be the source of life, and meaning in this world. But I have never lived like that. These past few months have been serious times of questioning for me. I have come to new, awfully honest territory with God. I now realize how much of my life is pointless, and how much of it needs to be redeemed. I only hope I can accept each part of my life that needs to leave in the coming year. I hope you can too.

this is who I am. This is what makes me go round.

For any curious soul, who would like to hear the Bizzart record, I dont think I need to tell you to go listen to it at www.soundsareactive.com. Its quite a peice of work.

Speaking of peices of work, The Fiery Furnaces are large, strange peices of work.

My next post, will be the one hundredth time I pressed the 'Publish' button after writing something here at my blog. I think its been like a year. Expect something special.

Music Writer?

DOA wants new music review writers, and I thinks I shall try my hand at it. (If any other music geek out there would like to do the same, check out www.adequacy.net, its Rochester based, and nerdishly updated daily.)

My plan is to post the review I'm going to send the editor of DOA as a sample of what I'm capable of. That is, mebbe you all could give me some grammer/english/structure pointers? Before I send in some complete peice of geek rambling, I'd like to refine it a tad. I have 3 reviews I've written. This one is somthing I just typed up about Bizzart. The other two are buried in the archives somewhere... (The Evan Anthem, and As I Lay Dying) I might look over those two, if I end up not liking this one. We'll see. I think, with a little work here and there, this one could work well. But its definitley 5 in the morning soo...

Let me know what you think of...


Bizzart: Ear Drung
Sounds Are Active, 2004

The very nature of experimental music makes it hit or miss. Some artists manage to create other worldly soundscapes and intelligent statements through experimental means, while others drag in the mud of pretentious avant-sound disasters. I appreciate the brave and rebellious souls who push boundaries and buttons, and are willing to take musical risks in order to create something original, while I curse the day some artists recorded their selfish indulgences.
That’s why reactions to Bizzart’s newest album Ear Drung will probably be of the "love it" or "hate it" variety. With no respect for preconceived notions of musical form, hip-hop, or complimentary sounds, Bizzart successfully tore me a new one. Using every strange sound source available, Accident, who produced the entire album, has created a noise filled hip-hop album that is so challenging, it becomes enjoyable. Sound abuse would be a good word to describe Accidents approach to creating tracks. As vinyl, synthesizers, guitar, and other instruments collide inside a dryer set on overdrive to create the static filled, radioactive terrain of Ear Drung.
The opener “Illuminate/ Ear Drung” draws layers of shriveling, synth lines on top of shrill synth squeals and other indescribable mysteries. Once the layers begin to spill over, and the beat drops, Bizzart lets a shout of “Illuminate!” and begins to rattle off a fevered, high pitched verse. Yes, the music is bizarre on the record, but it only serves as a precursor to Bizzart’s “martian-being-strangeled” style of what is usually called rapping. He also has a flow unlike anything I’ve ever heard, making him seem sometimes like he is rattling off what he wrote, with no regard to the beat. He rarely rhymes, and at times shrieks, sings, and talks normally. He does absolutely everything in his might to destroy hip-hop, rapping, and aural decency, while keeping a beat that you can bob your head to. Usually.
“Protocol” sports a clean beat, with chimes and piano creating a nice atmosphere behind Bizzart’s clear vocals until a live free-jazz combo tears into the studio and rips apart the set while Accident manipulates the chaos with disruptive delay effects. Surprises are scattered throughout the album, as synthesized bullets ricochet across the un-easy terrain of “Pink Summer in Hell”, (which is one of the few songs with a discernable chorus) and guest rappers drop in from all over the place (Galaxalag of Soul-Junk, Zane of the Tunnel Rats, and Freedom80, namely.). Bizzart drops his best verse on “Infinite Zero”, which also features Zane spitting an amazing verse, making it one of the best songs on the record.
Indeed, the album seems to come to a head on the last two tracks as Bizzart unleashes some of his best verses, and Accident breaks open Pandora’s box as wave upon wave of noise-hop chaos ensues. Accident then switches gears on the closer “Negative Gravity/ Hummingbird Feeder” as atmospheric strings and fading wood chimes play over a small minimalist beat to compliment Bizzart and Freedom80 as they lay out the most affecting verses on the album. The song is subtle, making the lyrics the centerpiece, as words echo, and play backwards at times, yet still, somehow remain discernable.
Ear Drung is immensely complicated, overwhelmed with whole worlds of sounds, ensuring that most listeners will hear only noise and chaos. Bizzart’s vocals further complicate, and challenge the listener until one is left in completely unfamiliar territory. While it is uncomfortable and even un-pleasant at times, Ear Drung delivers un-conventional hip-hop at its finest.

Pop music rounds the bend.

Heard any good bands lately? While I am known for liking dork music, I have fallen prey to some pop music as of late. And I feel like mentioning it right now.

Anberlin- They've posted some new songs up, which have some great hooks. I mean, I am just bumping 'Paper Thin Hymn' over here. And its three in the morning. But this song has some serious rock tossed in it. Right next to some pop hooks that are classic Anberlin. It makes me want to squeeze a glass of wine till it breaks while crying. But thats just me, see for yourself.

Arkitekt- I found them on a sampler in the mud at cornerstone. Pop rock is not dead. This band has managed to win my affections despite having a singer who I dont like. I usually hate this kind of singer, but the songs themselves rised above my prejudices and forced me to order their album from lakeshore records. (check out 'Passenger Planes' and 'The Greatest Romances')

Mae- Their B-Sides album is pop perfection. They've channeled every ounce of their being into creating the best songs that the pop/emo genre has to offer. Beleive again.

Honesty has caught up with me.

I talk about God like He's not even there. Like he's not in the room. Like He can't read my Blog. I've sort of reduced Him to being real only when I think He is, and omnipresent, only when I'm aware of Him.

The only way I can get it in my head, that God is actually in the same room with me, is if I slowly turn my head, and imagine him in a certain place.

In the corner by the door. Down the hall. At the top of the stairs.

Last week, I did this for the first time, and for a split second, I beleived God was really there.

The actuality of God is something that is slowly dawning on me. He actually is there. No really. I know this is profoundly simple, but before I can know God, I need to know He's around. I need to beleive in Him as much as I beleive in the people He created, because currently, I don't. I think Jim is more real that He is. Just because when I talk to Jim, Jim talks back, right away, and in my language. And when I open my eyes, Jim is frigging visible. Its sad, but I need to first treat God like a person, (which is obscene!), before I can treat Him like the Creator of the Universe. Its like I have to work up to that or something. I just can't handle omnipresence right now. Not that I'm trying to limit God. God is still God. Its just now, I got a glimpse of Him being as real as Jim.

Now what would happen, if I were live like God is as real as Jim?

I went to church today.

It has been over a month, due to work, since ive gone, and it was a bit of a culture shock. I've been struggling with my faith lately. Well not really with my faith, I belive in Christ, and that he is the Son of God, so that parts good. But still, I have many, many, nagging questions in the back of my head that I want answers for. Alot of them have to do with church. Why do we do worship the way we do? why do we have the sermon a certain way? Why does my church have such a redicuously large facilty? Why are so many christians, seemingly detatched from this world, and utterly un-relatable? How come the Christian Church has become comercialized, and made pretty, and happy, and self-contained?

Tangent: I beleive that one of the reasons, that so many twenty somethings run from the faith that they once had, is because they had a shabby, christian bubble constructed for them. That they grew up "pleading the blood of Christ" and "asking for forgiveness" and walking in "fullness" and "living in grace" and even praying, without ever thinking what those things actually mean. They get the rough idea in their head and go with it. But when the proverbial number two hits the fan, they fall back on a loosely based beleif system. "Why the hell did my mom get cancer?" or "Whys dad dead?" can throw a rock through glass faith. And a decision you make, or beleifs you have that have not been thought out as to what you are actually doing, or actually beleiving, crumble when trouble comes. Been there.
End Tangent.

Back to me at church. So I realized how jaded I am. I didn't even want to listen to the guest speaker because he was talking about "financial freedom" and stuff like that. And I have huge issues with the church and money... that I won't get into now. I have about twenty walls up between me, and God using my church to speak to me, and to work in me. I'm fine with the Holy Spirit doing things. He can work in my spirit during worship, and speak through my friends, and my pastors just fine. But, when the pastor, or guest speaker, is just really cheesy, or is little...off, or I just don't agree with, or I feel im on the other side of the body than him, (like the toes in the body of christ, and he's the frigging hair or something.) well, just forget about me listening to God speak through that. Cause I just won't let that happen. And I see this as BAD. This is trouble. I realize that God gave me a brain that likes to think everything through, and thats who I am. But when I get snobbish and start picking and choosing what I'll accept as a worthy messanger of God's Word... well I can go too far.

I was at the book store with Andy today and we were looking at all the christian books n stuff. Well I see this Joice Meyer book, and I say to him "look at this! She called her book Knowing God intamately! I mean, Its obvious shes ripping off J.I. Packer! Goodness gracious!" I glared at the book angrily. And andy says, "Tom, I think your taking this jaded thing a little too far, I mean, Not even I go that far! and I'm Andrew Russo!"

And thats a terribly good point. He is Andrew Russo. I'm out of control. I need to stop critisizing the church, and freaking participate. "Why pluck just one string? what good is just one note? Well, one note is fine I guess, but we were all once one notes." (aaron weiss)
To all the people I thought suck, I'm sorry, I'll put that down if you'll put up with me some more. There are far more important things to do that to critisize my fam for not being my style. Lets get to that.

"Why play one note, when you can strum the guitar?"

That the heathen should hear, and then know

Paul Ganguly: but hey, if anyone's gonna have a computer that can do that
Paul Ganguly: it'd be me
Paul Ganguly: or maybe jeff
Tom Lake: yes
Tom Lake: or mebbe the illigitimate child of both of your comps
Paul Ganguly: yes
Paul Ganguly: like zack's computer
Paul Ganguly: that one really is our computer's bastard child
Tom Lake: hahah
Tom Lake: i was thinking
Tom Lake: what if eve (eve being paul's old laptop), met jeff brices comp
Tom Lake: then the child would be PC/Mac inbread
Paul Ganguly: wow
Tom Lake: yea
Paul Ganguly: and that that child would grow up to birth the
antichrist, as a half computer, half man abominatory hybrid of malice
and cold, calculating reason and logic
Tom Lake: the only thing capable of awakening the seven headed beast
Paul Ganguly: and riding it forth to the city of god's chosen people
Paul Ganguly: that the battle may ensue
Tom Lake: where our Lord will decend from heaven riding a white horse,
and the sword from his mouth shall slay the armies of the world
Paul Ganguly: where eve will bring down her own spawn, whilst I fight
nobly alongside
Paul Ganguly: and you dj
Tom Lake: it wouldn't be right if i didnt
Paul Ganguly: indeed
Tom Lake: just so the world could see you tearing the enemy to peices
while a killer mix of Sigur Ros andRJD2 plays
Paul Ganguly: I mean, who are we to say that you shouldn't?
Paul Ganguly: indeed
Tom Lake: exactly
Paul Ganguly: whilst weilding the bastard child of a slegehammer and an axe
Paul Ganguly: and you, with hot cocoa and ancient vinyl disc in hand
Paul Ganguly: doth rock forth the phattest of beats, wherein also
doing battle with the most ghastly of foes
Tom Lake: yes, but i would fight one handed, the other holding my
headphones up to my right ear, making sure the daft punk beat matches
the verse of Talib Kweli in the house speakers
Paul Ganguly: the enemy would stand naked, confused, and utterly defeated
Tom Lake: questioning its very meaning for existing in front of such
rightous warriors
Paul Ganguly: and your neighbor shawn would spring forth, shouting malicious
battlecries, with enraged utterances of marshmallows and godzillas.
Paul Ganguly: and fell the beast, in one mighty swoop of his mightily
enchanted wooden spoon of unrivaled justice
Tom Lake: clutching rubber squids, and fisher price keyboards,
demolishing any semblance of decency within miles
Paul Ganguly: that the enemy would flee at his hand, their courage
dashed at the edge of his mighty hand
Tom Lake: drooling purified caffeine, he belches forth a cry not
unlike that of the Power Ranger Dino-Stego-Zord
Paul Ganguly: followed bravely by Russo, riding atop el toro
Tom Lake: his frazzled scarf blowing in the wind
Tom Lake: his immaculate hair never quivering
Tom Lake: his voice bellowing commands in latin, because he can.
Paul Ganguly: swinging his mighty, bull headed belt as a knight doth a flail
Paul Ganguly: and shouting words far too large for the enemy to hope
to understand
Paul Ganguly: driving the hordes to fall upon their own swords,
understanding that there be no means whereby to defeat such an
unparalleled force as us
Tom Lake: the women among the enemy ranks throwing themselves at him
in hopes that in the breif moments left in their life, his eyes might
fall apon them
Paul Ganguly: that they may die happily, knowing that they, for one
brief moment, incur the gaze of the mighty russo
Tom Lake: the men in the enemy ranks, for the first time in their
lives, see a vision of masculinity that eclipses their own to such a large
extent that their testosterone turns to butter within



Tom Lake: and
Tom Lake: we're done
Paul Ganguly: I have to drink a protein shake, take a few laps around
the block, and then take a nap after that one
Tom Lake: absolutely
Tom Lake: this was excellent
Paul Ganguly: amen
Paul Ganguly: amen good sir

Despair, baby.

I am still uncomfortable. I go to bed at night kicking and screaming inside. I am rarely satisfied with my day, or with what I am becoming. This could be because I am very critical of myself, but there is alot to be critical of. I've found a lot of selfishness, lust, and hypocrisy in every corner. But I am very glad I did, because otherwise I would be running around trying to ignore it all some more. And thats just no good. Its very easy to recognize the wrongs of others, but to recognize and admit the wrongs I've done or the wrongs I am doing, well thats different.

Lets not waste tomorrow again. Lets kick it in it's teeth.

All friends, Unite! (Oh!)

So here is my idea.

I would like very much for everyone who happens to read this to participate by writing something about themselves, in this format. I'll demonstrate.

My name is Tom Lake.
And I am eating Pumkin Pie Ice cream.

No time to change.

So the weekend made me realize that some things need to change. Can't keep going like this. This is what makes mediocre people more mediocre. Things like this.

I came home tonight at 10:15. I talked with my dad till about 12:30. Now what I had planned on tonight, was doing laundry so I could wear somthing clean tomorrow. and clearing off a space on my desk so I could have a spot to read and write at. That didn't happen at all because I was catching up with my pops, and really just having a good conversation. (which doesn't always happen, sometimes he just talks about random stuff and I fall asleep)

Now this is my manifesto: That in the choice between clean laundry and my father, I will always choose my father. And If that girl next to me in class thinks I smell funny, she is just going to have to deal with it.

Painfully aware of failures.

Everynight I shove all the dirty laundry off my bed, set my alarm and say to myself that I will, in fact go to school and finish out the semester.

I also have been sorting through all kinds of biases I have. With certain aspects of the church for example. Why do I think worship music is so lame? Is it because I am out of touch with many of the feelings and things they say to God? Or is it because I am a massive music snob... And I HATE the way they sugar coat, deep, meaningful words of faith into little, digestable, dandies, that you can hum along to and clap along to, and forget along with the rest of jingles in your head. And am I, (as I suspect I am) missing out on things my Creator is trying to tell me because I am too busy sorting through all these biases, to actually listen to Him? Or is this all too compartamentalized? The church life tells me that God only speaks during 1) Sermons or 2) Worship services. And that most certainly isn't true. And I really do need to sort through all these biases in order to find out if certain things are actually wrong, or if they really do minimize Christianity into a pale reflection of what it actually should be. I mean, these aren't exactly bad things to be thinking about.

I am also, as the title suggests, VERY aware of many things that I am doing VERY wrong. Not the same big mistakes I made last year, but little new ones. I feel like im changing in good ways at times, but in the same day, or hour, I'll do something obviously wrong. I feel very black and white. Very right and very wrong.

And its very un-comfortable.

Winning at introspection, Losing at life.

Seeing as my blog has changed dramatically the last two posts, I feel the need to clarify some things. I am definitely not trying to preach, or teach, anyone anything. My thoughts on the Bible, or friendship or whatever, I don't really premeditate. I get what I'm thinking about in m head, and then start writing. It sort of helps sort it all out. After I write, I read it over and over again for days. It sort of helps me look at what I am or what I am (or was) thinking about more clearly.
Now the reason I post it on here, for all to see, is that I want all of my friends to know what I was thinking right then. I like the fact, that if I see you somewhere and we all hang out, and the conversation stays supercifial, or just casual, that you could go home and read something that I wrote thats not me talking about how good I look in these new pants. (dont you all just get sick of hearing that?) or about the last cd(s) I bought, or about how Jesse Smith's new band GODS's debut album is produced by a member of Scarlet. (does anyone really care Tom? No!)

Now the idea is not to seperate two different sides of me, serious and joking, but just to provide an outlet for my rants, or my introspective freaking musings.

Not that anyone was really criticizing my recent posts, but I know it's kindof weird and can seem fake, or pretentious here and there. But whatever. Muse on.

Unity isn't easy.

I was reading the Bible lately and found this:

(1 Cor 12)
14Now the body is not made up of one part but of many. 15If the foot should say, "Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body," it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. 16And if the ear should say, "Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body," it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body.

I would like very much sometimes, to justify my grudges, and my problems with the various character flaws of my various friends. I have a habit of instead of working through things with friends, to just push them away until whatever they did to hurt me stops. Or until any awkward, or angry feelings dissolve. Then they can come back. The problem with this is threefold.

1) It never addresses problems head on, and never deals with issues with friends.
2) It prevents many relationships from growing more.
3) If the friend is a fellow Christian, I actually shut out a part of the body of Christ.

Imagine if the eye, out of hurt, or anger, just decided to ignore the foot, and not communicate with him anymore. The foot would soon end up getting stubbed, or stepping on something sharp without the eye to guide him. But both the foot and they eye would feel the pain. In fact the pain would shoot through the whole body.
I have a couple of examples of this. I had a Christian friend who I lost contact with a while ago. During that time, I found out he was involved in a bunch of sinful, and dangerous things. That hurt. To know that maybe if i hadn't lost touch with him, if I had kept him close, he might have made other choices. Many times we don't know what we mean to eachother. Guys especially are notorious for not telling other guys how much they value them. To me, losing touch with this person was a natural conflict of interest, that resulted in us not hanging out anymore. It wasn't a big deal, and to be honest I didn't even miss him that much. But to him, who knows? Was it a slap in the face? Was it rejection from a Brother who was supposed to be there for him? (probably)
Christians need eachother. We need eachother far more than we know. Me losing contact with my old friend may have been like the eye not talking to the foot. Without good, Christian brothers and sisters there for us, we fall. And without the courage to work through things with my friends, to talk to them about crap, or even to correct them, I will injure the body, over and over again.


21The eye cannot say to the hand, "I don't need you!" And the head cannot say to the feet, "I don't need you!" 22On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, 23and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor.
(1 Cor 12)

You put in alot of work to get good friends.

Its not easy to get through all the formalitys, and small talk, to actually get to know someone, and then to actually agree with, or relate to, or like them. I've been thinking about my friendships lately, because many of them have changed. Certain people have fallen off my map lately. Some of this is due to a new job, working evenings, and college. But thats just the surface. Different things in me are changing and I'm actually watching different relationships fade out, as others fade in. Some of them I don't mean to fade out. Others I do. There are alot of things Im trying to do lately. One of them is become more honest. The other is not put up with the wrong. And by the Wrong, I mean many things. I mean me laughing at jokes that poke fun at my creator, my savior, and my brothers and sisters. I mean watching someone pick on someone else, make fun of someone, or generally be a jackass. And also to go along with, and to form myself to others I'm around.
This is never easy. One of the things I love about my friends is that throughout time, we've worn a nice groove in our relationship. When we hang out, we know what will make eachother laugh, we know where we dissagree, and usually avoid those areas, we know what parts of us the other will accept, and which parts he will not, or won't understand. And so we stay, within what we've always known. I've noticed that how a relationship starts matters alot in how it will grow. With the friends I made in highschool I have a hard time moving on from who I was when we first met, or what our usual pattern was back then. We made our own path back then, and now that I have changed somewhat, theres an awkwardness between who they very well know I was, and who I think and beleive I am, or I am going to be. Im glad that many of my highschool friends have changed along with me, and grown in good ways.
Still, I do find alot of tension between who I want to be and what I want to say, and where the path in all my friendships leads. Its very hard to go off the familar topics, and boundarys. But in very small ways, Im starting to go off beaten paths, and start to mark out new ones. Its not much, but I feel good about different situations where I've stepped out. I have alot to say, and I'm tired of not saying any of it.
This isn't a "from this moment on, I swear to ect. ect" kind of thing, but this is how I feel, and what I'm thinking right now. something I normally don't write about.
Theres alot of relationships changing around here too. New friendships and groups are forming here and there, and people are sort of sorting themselves out. Romance has struck here and there and relationships are popping up again. The problem with new feelings for someone, is that it becomes harder to stay close to your other friends. I remember when 6 of our friends all paired off in youth group a while ago. They all dropped off the map for a good while. Heck I certainly did when I was in a relationship. Its the same with new friends. I've made some new ones and I found myself forgetting about my best friends to go hang out with them. What I'm trying to say, is its a shame we can't all just hang out together and be the family we were again. Not that I'm not a part of that, I'll admit to being responsable to a large part of the split. I can be a very bitter, hurtful guy. And when old friends and old feelings stab, instead of dealing with the problem, or the feelings, I often run the other way. Usually swearing all the way. Not the christian brother I would like to be at all. But it has happened. And new friends seem like the perfect antidote. No strings attatched, they don't know who I was, only what I tell them about me. The "honeymoon" of a new friendship (and I mean that VERY metaphorically) is always more exiting than the day to day misunderstandings, or old feelings or arguments coming up among older friends. Sometimes Im quick to forget how long my friends have been there for me. And I mean been there. Even when I was a complete jackass, or was obviously really screwing up, they were more or less patient with me. And their still here.
I have a very large moral compass inside me. I try to ignore it alot of the time, but when it comes down to it, I want to do whats right. Not just that though, I sometimes (though they be rare) want to do whats the Rightest Right. (now im making up words) And many times I look at others and am quick to analyze and judge what their doing. Thats easy, but when I turn what i see them doing wrong on me, it makes me much more uncomfortable. How could I talk to anyone about what I think about their relationship with so and so, when my relational history is filled with mistakes, that I was well aware of at the time? I've done the same or worse so many times, how can I judge? In fact the reason I am doing anything right presently has more to do with my pastor beating wisdom into me weekly, and my parents constant advice. Which is very humbling.

To end, I'm sorry I let friends fade. Im sorry I run from alot my problems.
and Im sorry I hold back.

So according to Russo, Woven Hand's new album comes out Nov. 2nd.

According to Jason Morehead (from opuszine.com), its really good.

here is a nice review of the album ("Consider the Birds") (also check out the reviews of The Arcade Fire, and Liz Janes, which are also interesting.)

Last night, Delusions of Adequacy, (one of my favorite online music zines) put on a show with a couple bands. It was at the Visual Studies Workshop, which turned out to be this ancient building that had a bunch of political documentary videos playing upstairs. Anyways, I was happy because I got to meet the guy who runs the site I visit EVERY DAY. (Because it reviews Five, yes five albums a day you fools) Unfortately there weren't many people there. I noticed that at the begining, but torwards the end, the quality of the music rose significantly, and it became a crime that more of my friends weren't there. I had no idea. I would have dragged more people there had I known. The openers were two little folk groups. They were alright, I was down with the lap steel and the whistle bridge that the band Hula provided. But then Saeta got on, and blew everyone away. Well they blew me and Joel away anyways. The band is a pianist, a celloist, and a guitarist, which gives them a unique sound from the get go. They were older than I expected, and have been playing together for five years. Their sound was rich, beautiful adult pop. Adequacy said "chamber pop music" but I like adult pop. They were able to conjur up feelings, and intensity I haven't felt in a live show since Unwed Sailor and frigging Ester Drang at Cornerstone. Absolutely fantastic. I told them that afterwards too. Then came the shocker of the evening. Tarantula. A band that sounded tame on the samples on the internet, but after the first song, me and Joel knew the truth. They don't play games. The band was a four peice, drums, guitar, violin, and cello. The guitarist and the celloist had a slew of effects pedals, which they used to actually enhance their music in interesting ways, rather than obscure it, or endulge in some unlistenable, artistic, feedback laden experiement. The drummer played a ton of other instuments, notably the glockenspeil, sometimes simotaniously with his drums. (which, yes, was sick.) The band's actual sound was a strange mix of classical, and progressive rock, with a lil math-rock thrown in here and there. They were all over the place, adding extra beats where shouldn't be, trading melodies between the violin, guitar, cello and glockenspeil. Starting polyrythmic showdowns between a cowbell, handclaps, and drums. Just in general doing everything right and nothing wrong. I was instantly pissed off that I hadn't dragged my friends here against their will. It really was, me and Joel later decided, one of the best shows we have ever seen in Rochester. Stuff like this just usually doesn't happen round here. There was a point during the night, where Racheal, was leaving and Joel either had to go or I would have to drive him home. I told him i would drive him, not realizing the sickness of Tarantula that we were about to see. Afterwards I told him that had I not agreed to drive him home later, and had seen Tarantula alone, it would have been have been the end of our freindship. How could I look at him again knowing that I held him back from that? Luckily I didnt. Luckily I only have to work for 3 hours this morning. I'll see you all later.

Forget what you thought you heard.

This post is for Paul Scota.

So there is a group called the Kleptones, I dunno if you heard em or not, but their four guys who do mash up albums... anyways they'd mashed a ton of Queen songs together with random Hip Hop songs and I couldn't find your email address so I figured Id let you know.

This stuff is hysterical.

the songs aren't edited, and i havent heard em all, so unless your a fan of Queen, and have a good sense of humour, or you are Paul, I wouldn't suggest it.

alot of the tracks are instrumental intros for other songs, so check out the see.mp3 (its grandmaster flash I think.) and the stop.mp3 (lil flip, its so funny)

Give Us Atlantis

I believe that one day I'll pick an unusually large flower, hold it in the air, and watch the pedals be plucked away by the wind. And the instant the last pedal is picked from the stem, the dopest of beats will drop, and echo throughout the surrounding hills and valleys.

That the ground would crack, and split before the kick and snares syncopated beatings. That underneath the ground would be pools of rushing water, surging and frothing to the beat. Darkness would fall on the fourth measure, and the stars would come out in time to the snare. That the thundering rhythm would summon every one of my friends, dressed in gray robes. They would surround a pool of water, and one by one dive into the deep. That I would be the last of them, taking up the rear, in a train of the people I love, swimming to our new home.

Its the little things baby.

Like that Gillette Aftershave Lotion you just applied to your cheeks, yes that feels great.

And that brand new shirt that Roberto gave you to wear at work, yes the one with your name embroidered on the front in cursive, with the three buttons, and the gray colour stylings.

The way it wraps about your torso like so. The way you muss up your hair and pose with the mop in the bathroom. With the broom in the storage closet. Or with no accessory at all, alone, just you and your tight gray polo shirt. In the dining hall, underneath the chandelier

Paul Scota

Get Ready To Feel Again.

The long white tablecloth hid me well as I enjoyed every lucious bite of its pink, frosted, vanilla pudge. Mrs. Fensen fussed and looked everywhere for it. Susie and Billy tried looking under the car, in the house, and even in the street.

This sucker is all mine.

The joy of the Lord is my strength, not flirtatious smiles.

Money matters so much to America. We have already built that Idol, now the church wants to help us "manage" it. "If you could not sacrafice to that Idol as much as the rest of the world, or maybe just not as often, then your doing fine."

Join in the discussion

Stop staying up late.

BadaRuski: What up T-rock?
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: j bone is buuilding chill p rocks in my grill stones
BadaRuski: what's up, thomas?
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: im bout to go do some homework andrew
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: what are you doing?
BadaRuski: I'm gonna go to sleep and wake up painfully early
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: dang andrew that doesnt sound too good
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: but i may just join you in that early waking up thing
BadaRuski: no thomas it certainly doesn't
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: not because i want to
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: but because I can
BadaRuski: ahh I see
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: and thats good enough for me andrew, thats just good enough
BadaRuski: a volition of the will, as it were
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: yes, you old coot, what else?
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: im no baboon
BadaRuski: just doing some reading
BadaRuski: for school
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: haha
BadaRuski: tom?
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: yes ive heard of this school
BadaRuski: really?
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: im enrolled too apparently
BadaRuski: who is it?
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: in a few classes
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: it is a collection of rooms i hear
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: with all sorts of old hats farting about
BadaRuski: seriously who is this?
BadaRuski: have you been getting in wine again?
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: philosophical baboons and gamers alike
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: they all join in this commune
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: yea im in a rather tired mood
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: the kind that makes me stupid
BadaRuski: tell me something only tom would know?
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: rather than the other kind that makes me sexy
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: hmm
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: joy electric played synthesizers on the new squad five o record
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: entitled "fast news breaking"
BadaRuski: I have no idea if that's true
BadaRuski: what rc sproul book is tom currently reading?
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: the mystery of the holy spirit
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: aha i am he!
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: behold me
BadaRuski: ah ha
BadaRuski: at long last
BadaRuski: you have returned
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: yes andrew
BadaRuski: we're such losers
BadaRuski: so today
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: yes andrew
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: do go on
BadaRuski: I almost made sam squirt beef out her nose
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: oh mercy!
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: thats incredible andrew
BadaRuski: she started laughing while eating a beef burrito
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: oh man
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: i owe you a sam adams
BadaRuski: you need some freaking sleep
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: yea
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: sam adams owes me one too andrew
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: its all over town
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: the posters, the sham
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: yea thats it for us
BadaRuski: have you been getting into the family wine again?
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: ive been fixing too for some time, but the baggy dodger keeps up in the shaft
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: the air shaft of course!
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: man
BadaRuski: he's been rodgering the fishwife, eh?
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: in a fatherly manner andrew
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: but non the less yes.
BadaRuski: you're saying Jim has been leading cows into and out of the barn?
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: Whofore? james?
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: not for a brass penny
BadaRuski: he's committed to the wholesale program then?
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: hmm... he has missed a few meetings lately
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: but its up 2 percent since the last
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: speaking of which
BadaRuski: ahh, so his material wan't wasted on foreign investors.
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: im going to eat a large chimicchanga and smoke a large bloated fat one
BadaRuski: smoke several
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: how do you feel about that statement andrew
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: aha you have bested me by replying befroe me
BadaRuski: or take them apart and turn them into one big one
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: fair game andrew
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: i will do both or neither
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: but the first
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: well you only live once right?
BEAUTIFUL TOMBO: yours truly, Thomas Michealangelo Lake
BadaRuski: well played

we'd beat the answers out of their high browed foreheads until they spilled out onto the floor, and like some mad pilgrims, dancing on grapes in a winepress, we would toss our bodies about, sending the liquid splashing onto their slacks.

We would hold such dangerous meetings, we would pull out all the stops. We would let the bus roll down the hill, Into a wall, into a pond, into the blasted city for all we care.

I would bend it backwards



I'll shimmy up this flagpole just the same. Swat down them birds as they fly by. Let them taste gravel just the same as me. In my shoes, making blisters on my feet.
I'll give it to their beaks, breaking and balancing.

if i had my way I would wrap my arms around you. Until you turned to salt, and me to pale stone. Until everyone could see what I've done to you.

Paul Scota is back.

get ready to feel again.

A mystery has emerged from the strange organism that is the internet.

Just now I checked my email, and I got an email from myself. From my address. I didnt remember sending myself a letter so I opened it. all it said was:

aaazzzaaazzzaaazzzaaazzz

and thats it.

I checked when it had been sent and it had been sent (creepy part) Four minutes ago. Paul Scota and Joel Dow were both here tonight... and Andy too...but I was with them when they were online. Who the heck sent this? Four minutes ago?
I will not sleep well tonight.
No I totally will...

God is bigger than the boogie man.

ps. if anyone has any "clues" as to who sent this, please comment.

I'm actually cleaning my room today. I'm going places, so don't hold me back, baby.
gimme some doggone room up in here. Show the Lake some respect in this. He deserves a bit.

One thing at a time, Suckers.

1) Sign up for classes at MCC (work out loans)

2) get a job.

3) change soaps. that one in the showers gives you a rash.

4) clean your room. (including the cat vomit)

5) Successfully mooch gas money off of parents.


Yes kids, being Tom Lake is that good.

So Sounds Are Active (LA based record label and home to Soul Junk) has a new website up, with all kinds of new stuff on it. Theres so much information, it will probably satisfy my musical nerd urges for a good month (I lie). Example: did you know that Slo Ro, is married to folk singer Liz James, and is producing her new LP, due out on Asthmatic Kitty Records soon? Neither did I till this morning! There are a ton of videos on the website as well, and apperently theres some sort of contest with hidden numbers in the various video clips. As if I wouldn't have watched every one anyways.
Sounds Are Active is one of my favorite labels, for the sole reason of having Soul-Junk and Bizzart on their roster (and dripping of bootleg, independent, pirate, hipster, cool). But now, as if every single one of my readers (single? one?) has not allready crapped their collective pants, the big news is that Sounds Are Active is co-releasing a compilation record with Asthmatic Kitty records. And its only a dollar. And it has, a new Soul-Junk track on it. I never thought I would ever hear a Sufjan Stevens song on the same cd as a Soul Junk track, but lo and behold, for only a dollar, I will hear just that. (Hold me) The track listing, because I know EVERYONE wants to know, is as follows.


Asthmatic Kitty Side
01. Sufjan Stevens - All Good Naysayers, Speak Up! Or Forever Hold Your Peace!
02. Half-Handed Cloud - Let's Build A Planet
03. Viva Voce - Red D-Lish
04. Liz Janes - Guitar Guitar
05. Castanets - I'll Be Just Where You Are
06. Sufjan Stevens - Happy Birthday
07. Half-Handed Cloud - Pressing Into It
08. Liz Janes - Vine
09. Viva Voice - Welcome Mat
10. Half-Handed Cloud - Here's A List
11. Sufjan Stevens - Year of the Tiger
Sounds Are Active Side
12. Deneir - Random Object Subject
13. Patagonian - Hands in the Face of Time
14. Xn. - gone home early (Omid Remix)
15. Vla Hemia - Break Loose
16. Soul-Junk - Nova (Evig Poesi Remix)
17. Bizzart - Pink Summer in Hell
18. Melk the G6-49 - Henry
19. Create(!) - Three Butterflies, Seven Mockingbirds
20. Constantine, Levin, Phillips, Schlarb, Shadduck - Two Planes for Elliot Smith

Even if you don't know, or care about any of the artists above, just look at all the words and try to imagine what each one sounds like. Odds are your probably right. Or you could go to Soundsareactive or asthmatickitty, and freaking find out.

Showering brings me together with myself. you know?

So my brother showed me www.explodingdog.com the other day and i was blown away. It's not a lame, flash cartoon site like it sounds, but its actually a strange, crappy artist who draws pictures for sentances that his fans send in. Sound stupid? it sometimes is. Its also at times, dark, funny, and in odd, small, little ways, moving.

One day I'll have a job, you'll see.

There is a new mewithoutyou song on purevolume.com called "January 1979". Its off of their upcoming album called "Catch For Us The Foxes". How wicked is that?

There is a sweet interview with Sufjan Stevens at PitchforkMedia.com
Sucker MC's everywhere are recognizing his songwriting skills that hopefully are starting to pay the dang bills.

It's like a dance.

but it gives more than it takes.
You'll lose time and energy but you will slowly spin inside.
Until one of your organs is facing another it has never seen before.
The gall bladder turns to find the stomach has been behind him all this time.
The pancreas meets the kidney.
you won't know this of course, you will just feel an odd sensation,
maybe an aching, or several small sharp pains.
as you innards shift, and meet their new friends, or enemies.

Then you might feel a tingle, or a small prick.
as something inside of you discovers his new best friend

has been behind him all his life.

So since ive been back to Rochester, I have seen the Village, and Napolean Dynamite.
My word. Go see these movies now.

1) despite what certain people (some but not all, residing in Illinois) say, The Village was very well made. The characters are well developed and the plot is very original. M. Night is one of the most consistent directors around. Respect him.

2) Napolean Dynamite redefines "off-beat comedy" with more quirk, and dry humour than anything else I've seen. (except The Royal Tenenbaums, and Punch Drunk Love) This movie is like a strange, little cousin to the afformentioned films, with a lead character that is the funniest thing to happen since ... the last really funny thing. Represent.

So I happen to be back.

Its very good to see the Rochester again. I had a garbage plate for the first time in a month and let me tell you, grease has never been so welcome, sliding down my throat, along with meat and patatos, and whatever else.

here is a link to a couple of photos of me in illinois, I will be adding others as soon as i get a scanner working around here.

Tom in Illinois

Let it henceforth be known, that I, Tom Lake will be home at nine. On thursday. So you, should totally be there. Obviously.