When We're Far From Here

I want to change as much as I have from last summer till now... this coming year. I really dont want to be as clueless as I am right now next year.

In my life, almost nothing is coincidence... im trying to change small things in my life, in order to mature and just be happier in life. In my childrens lit class i am doing a presentation on a book, about a boy who is doing just that. Its perplexing how the God of the Universe, would choose such subtle ways to communicate things. I'm not questioning His ways, He knows far better than I, how to talk to me... and what the best way is to do that. So this must be it.
Reading Ragged Dick in my room with Jake and Tina, listening to an entire Mum record, and wondering, how our lives will be... when we're far from here.

When I'm grown, and married... and Jake and Tina are too, over in Illinois, or where ever they end up. And you, where ever the heck you end up. How will it be? To have kids, to have spouses? houses, apartments, jobs, careers, degrees...

We'll look back at our confused twenty somthing selves, and remember how sweet it all was. The lack of direction, the un-answered questions... The search for vision, for motivation... all the dreams that poured out of our heads... crossing eachother, creating a mess.

Our older selves, so locked into a routine, into a lifestyle, will look back at that as just another peice of life... and what a fun one too... now's the time when we can do anything.

But what about marraige and kids and all that? I can't imagine looking into the face of a child, knowing that he was once a part of me, and he literally came out of my wife. And now he's going to grow up in this world with ME as his father. Egad. What an absolutely mind blowing thing that is to think about...

And what about the whole marraige thing? Does spending the rest of your life with someone other than you, freak anyone (i mean you single folks) else out around here? You know how annoying that person must get eventually? man...

From watching my parents, I think I've found that eventually you go through so much crap together in marraige, and you work through so many things, and you get on absolutely every nerve of the other person to the point where you come out the other side, full circle, victorious. Like in the Lion King, at the end, after Simba defeats Scar, and it starts to rain and put out all the fires. Well as you may remember, all this steam and mist is every where as this dramatic music is playing. And then you can just make out the forms of two warriors coming through the mist, as they near, you can see its Timon and Pumba, wartorn, and valiant. Then, you may also remember, Simba gets up on pride rock, and with rain pouring down his reddish brown mane, he roars. Letting Africa know, that he now, is in fact king.

And then his clan roars back.