Some open questions to some of my friends:

J-Broc, J-Breeze, Juice, or Brice: When exactly is that leadership conference thing? i cant remember even though Mick called me and told me. I'm planning on leaving a few days before that. Oh and whats your livejournal address? or link? cuz i can't find it n stuff.

Andy: Do you have an email address that you check? cuz i definitly sent you an email to be read with your eyes n such. Much love.

The Preacher is absolutlly unstoppable.

He posted an article about charismatic Christians that needs to be read.

www.RealLivePreacher.com

(The Preacher does happen to swear occationally, while I don't reccomend swearing, It usually does not subtract from his messages, and to be honest, if my pastor has a problem with swearing, I would really like to know, rather than have him cover it up.)

(anyways check out the freaking site its earth shattering and every other great adjective that Paul Ganguly throws around like whatever)

To answer Andy's question, I commited a horrible sin today, and placed myself and many others in danger, perhaps causing your half of the heart to itch so bad. The sin was simple... I Tom Lake performed, and subsequently desecrated, the most sacred of suburban rituals. I drove a riding lawn mower, mowed my uncles entire lawn, and the back feild, while waving to neighbors and passerbys. I feel horrible about it. At the time it seemed so right but now it stings and stinks of sin.

im going to go shower.

An open, private letter to some of my friends

Jim: try not to suck.
Jeff: (black ver.) tie a knot in it. (kidding, i miss you dog.)
Jeff: (new brighter white ver.) Think of me when you write your first hip-hop mandolin song entitled "the stomp of western europe meets the tough part of the turkey leg".
Andy: my broken half of a heart is fading. and with it, my memories of you. Go to the bookstore for me, and for goodness sake just look at lakeshore for me if you go by there.
Sean: the first part of my letter to Andy will be the title of a new song. think about it. now sing it passionately. there it is.
Kate: I'm going to go camping in Iowa later this month. How could I not think of you, running into a golf store, seemingly stoned out your mind, yelling IM FROM IOWA!?!?!
Em: please go to lakeshore and tell the Decemberists new Ep "The Tain" that I will be back sometime later this month to purchase it with zeal. Please?
Paul: see my days are cold without you... and im hurting by and by, and i just cant seem to find my way back to you again. (the september equation cd is pretty good. its kind of like quirky, glitchy, skipping electronic micro-music. Nothing like Sufjan Stevens "enjoy your rabbit" junk which has been bumping here for a while... but still.)

Dear paul/emily/kate/andy: could ya'll post a comment and give me your addresses so I could send you guys some letters? that'd be swell. Look forward to hearing from all of youse. [not neccisarily limited to the friends mentioned above]

Hey you all.

I have totally, extremely made it to Rockford.
There are giant department stores and farms here.
almost back to back.
its crazy.
mad I tell you.
the locals have strange tastes in food, and humour.
But sweet mother do they drink good coffee.
i mean. this stuff is jamming.
so yea, i'll probably email you guys individually later, when i get this whole AOL thing worked out. and am not lazy.
stay tuned for day 2...

"the one that came after the first...."

Top Ten Reasons to Shop at Hot Topic
*some language is used here rather coarsly, just to let ya'll know, well worth it however.

Stop and think about how your two biggest toes, touch eachother.

Try moving them up and down, you feel that friction?

When you sleep tonight, think about weather or not you have the 1st toe on top, or the 2nd. Or do you have them side by side?

When your nervous, or anxious, do you fiddle with your first two toes? Just kind of wiggle them?

Doesn't that just irk the heck out of you?

I've been noodling around with some online games lately. I've discovered a genius game designer named On who runs a bizarre site called www.eyezmaze.com. He has some of the most original and incredibly entertaining games I've ever come across. The concepts alone are worth checking out. Heres a rundown of some of his stuff.

Tontie ver. B: a game that uses the number pad to the right of your keyboard to thwack one eyed tonties that pop up a series of trapdoors that correspond to the numbers. Absolutely addictive. I haven't come close to beating this thing.

Grow! : a game that consists of nothing more than a globe that you place objects on. Each object affects certain other objects, causing them to "level up" and morph into different things. You have 12 objects and each has something like 7 levels to get to. Good luck.

Zip Bear Town! : a site he made for some incredibly weird Japanese TV show or something. There's all kinds of weird things on here. A list of characters, movies, and games that are indescribable and entirely in Japanese, which makes them hilarious to play because it's mostly guesswork. I figured out how to play one of them sort of... but I don't know the name of it.
I dare you to click on this music video thing. Imagine if I made a cartoon about some care bear telletubbie. It would be much like this. God help us all.

Vanilla ver. B : A game where you stack these tree monsters on top of eachother every time you click on them from top to bottom. Where you click them determines how they lean... Should they sway and touch the wall, you lose. See how high you can stack them! yay!

The following was written on napkin and Microsoft Works by a Mystery Author.
I hope you all can appreciate the depth of content and meaning inherent in his/her work.

you may notice I now have comments enabled thanks to some fancy Html pasting by myself.

Please leave comments for the Anomymous Author to read. He/She would like feedback.

Thanks.

The Account of the Undeveloped hero and Hekaba
I
Hekaba of the dark tresses, your beauty withers as the sea of fallen heroes grows cold
Why offer to me this painted worm? My appetite refuses this meal, naked for courage and bereft of diginity.
Your ways take me to the low house, where my broken master awaits me
With a shriveled toungue and an empty heart he would make me his disciple

Bull, charge away the empty champion
Find the heron that brings peace and let it roost among your young.

Refuse the vicious Hekaba the path to her bed is littered with blood and drawn swords
Beetles sting at the ankles of your suitors, and the badger of wrath visits their homeland
Away upon Mt Ida, dwells a man who fell from his high horse into the snare of the ashen queen
His heart lies in empty funerary jars, and he is now a son to the broken master

II
Narcissistic beast, curse your inherited affliction
Punish the brute and shackle him
Become presentable to the grey-eyed Athene
Devoted to her ways your appetite will diminish as your chest soars

Tame the Stallion, make him servile, the success of your campaign rides on his obedience

III
Narcissistic beast, curse your inherited affliction
Punish the brute and shackle him
Become presentable to the grey-eyed Athene
Find happiness among her perched owls


My noble son, the daughter of Hektor loves you, her face is kind and her eyes see far
Become a tall man and wear your brothers shining helm, tall and shocking be terrifying toward the empty champion
Address the large square and lead the cube to action, sit as heart and head of shapes.
The Cult of Pythagoras is your enemy, do away with them, your moment of heroism awaits

IV
Sol Invictus is the folly of men, William of the great war cry has seen this

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You can hear a new song from Joy Electric from his upcoming album, "Hello Mannaquin"

you all should here this junk, as a huge fan of his I speak from experience when I say it is the royal jump off.

click here
ok i might as well say hi to paul...who'll be the only one clicking there. Whats up man.
good tune aint it? darn right. I'll see you at the party n stuff. You know.

As I Lay Dying Frail Words Collapse

Metal is getting old. It seems that certain elements are given in any new metal-core, violence-doom, or speed-math-death-core release. You can from the beginning assume that they'll have a skull on the cover of their album. No? How about the back, or on the CD? Still no? Then look at the label it was put out on... yep just as I thought. The Death Jury Record Company. Or Skull Blood Ditch Records. Or something like that, the point is the logo will have a skull on it, and it will be respected. Even though I find cover art on "hardcore" bands records' funny, (check out Haste The Day's cover art, I kid you not, a crying, goth-angel!) I still find myself checking the Z section at record archive for new Zao releases, and heaven help me if I find an Underoath cd, much less Sinai Beach. You really can't judge a cd by its cover, but you sure as shootin can talk junk about it on your blog. So anyways... now that I've thoroughly embarrassed myself, onto the music.

The third release from the over-dramatically titled As I Lay Dying, (It should be noted that its the title of a Robert Faulkner book as well.) finds the band joining the ranks of the other bazillion metal-core bands, while fighting for their own distinct sound. More times than not, As I Lay Dying succeeds and the result is some brutal, mathematically intimidating, music.

One of the things that immediately impressed me, was how tight the band can lock into their drummer's double bass pedal rolls. I mean, at times these guys sound like a machine. The first song, "94 Hours" opens the album and makes to buts about it. Starting with a lead guitar line that sounds like as metal as it is punk, the band within 30 seconds, has gone from a speed punk beat, to a nasty breakdown. This is a theme for the band, although they don't repeat a whole lot of things, they do like breakdowns, and quick changes and of course the double bass. As a result, the bands best songs are the shortest. The first 4 songs are not that short, but they definitely hold their own, until the albums fifth, and best track: "Distance Is Darkness" Clocking in at 2 minutes and a half, the song brutalizes its song structure, time signatures, and speed metal breakdowns with bombast. The guitars swell into another breakdown, and then build into a chorus that finds the vocalist singing some suprisingly erie and amazing lines as the band lays down an emotional, epic backdrop behind him. Trust me. This song is unbreakable.

The vocalist deserves mention here, as Tim Lambesis is willing to stretch his dynamic ranges across the boards from a low, guttural, growl to a high shrieking thing. He also can sing very well... which makes me wish he did a bit more.

I don't mean to be a yes-man music critic here, but this album is very good. If I hadn't heard Sinai Beach or Nodes of Ranveir (or Norma Jean) I would put them in the top 2 or 3 metalcore bands around. The thing that holds them back is 3 songs. There are three songs on this record that just don't do it for me. They just seem to repeat the boring parts of the song rather than the good parts. But 3 out of 12 ain't bad is it? No, it isn't you snob, so push your bifocals up your long nose, and check out the band the next time they play a show round heeah. (or for me, at cornerstone.) Shoot. Ya'll act like you own this place or sumtin.

Cd reviews: I decided I have to much pent up music talk to get out (or too much for my friends to listen to) so I am now going to start reviewing, or discussing different albums on my blog. I know I know...boring or same old same old... but tough. I need to get this out. And whoever stumbles across this can deal with it.

The Evan Anthem Prologue,
(Mono Vs. Stereo) 2003

The very first band on a brand new label, The Evan Anthem is Mono Vs. Stereo's first-born child, and bears the reputation of the entire record label on its shoulders. Luckily they step up to the plate with a darn good debut, Prologue rarely disappoints as Evan remains interesting and indie enough to get me to listen to the disc constantly for the last couple days. If I had to throw them in a genre I would say indie-rock, with slight emotional tendencies on a couple tracks (not a bad thing, you snob jackass) While indie rock is a large and confusing category, The Evan Anthem remain firmly in the rock side and are capable of weaving pop melodies, emo yelps, and straight up rock into something strangely original and catchy as all get out. But instead of going overboard with their emo leanings, or indie experimentalism, they tread the mean of the two, experimenting with electronic drums and spoken word manifestos here and there, but dishing out the frigging jams most of the time. Anyone whose into groups like Thursday, The Beautiful Mistake, will find much to like here.

Most groups who are in anyway involved in emo can get embarrassingly melodramatic at the drop of the hat, causing all your friends to call Dashboard and TBS whiney, over emotional disasters. The Evan Anthem is the balance for them, practically oozing with indie cool, and practical solid lyricism, they never do anything that's cliche or popular, but rather try hard to do their own thing. Which you could argue is just as pretentious as the bands that try and fit into a trend. But in the long run, originality is never a bad thing, weather its pretentious or not, The Evan Anthem would rock the basement show below your local record shop or Laundromat any day of the week. And before you knew it your snob rear end would have a tight T-shirt on with the Evan Anthem and like a picture of a lamp on it.

One thing that surprised me about the disc is that the songs aren't easy to figure out. Sometimes I have no idea what their talking about. They sing their hearts out on "End Script" to someone they apparently have not met, but would like to. Or maybe they have. They really can't decide. On the last track: "A collection on interesting beginnings" the band has two spoken word sections about the republic training people for the good of the nation or something. It sounds like some presidential address set to rock music.

The best tracks are in the first two thirds of the disc, leaving it feeling a lil off balance, but still hot. The album opener, is a one verse intro with just vocals and piano. They eventually break into group vocals and electric drums for a minute, and then give way for one of the strongest tracks, "Goodnight, Good fight": another song that's confusing lyrically, but communicates it's frustration and tension through its music. There's a lot of musical tension and emotional tension going on throughout the disc regardless of whether their singing about how they have or haven't changed in the past year, or about someone who acts like a pro, and pisses them off. (if your a bit confused, so am I) The EA rarely tell you the whole story and in true indie fashion, leave you to put their lyrical sentiments into some sort of cohesive statement or story...Or whatever.

All in all its a very interesting listen, has a few odd supprises tucked in here and there. (African inspired vocal harmonies? Electronic drum fills? What?) Indie geeks best be respecting.

So I've decided to keep all three of you up to date on the nerdisms I've encountered online. this particular one is probably worse than kaiju and any music nerd site put together. Lord of the Rhymes
Its a hip hop group staight outta middle earth. Watch in horror as an ent gets ill on the mic, or be amazed as gollum beatboxes in a loincloth.
whatever. just don't support these geeks in any way. it would only encourage them.

Gentlemen, (im not being sexist, no female eyes have grazed this blog in a many a fortnight) it is time.

It is time for your minds to be opened to something new. something horrible.

www.kaiju.com

Giant monsters are real.

I am a virgin and I live with my parents.

I began to gather more excerpts from my blog for the second half of "Best of" but there wernt any really good ones... seems i used them all up on the first.
So Im going to let that one stand as the best of tomisthecrap.com.

And move on.

My neighbor tried to get me to go to a Static X show tonight. But i went to bill grays and played the hockey game with jim and liam. Jim actually bounced the puck off of my player into my goal, solidifying his birthright authority over me. I want a record player. And the new strokes album. and an electric toothbrush.
and the week to be over.

someday ill have all of these. Until then, I have a turntable, a pink shirt, a gallon of citrus punch, and andy, reading to me while I work.

Hello my one faithful reader. If there is even one.
In an effort to revive my blogging habits Im going to compile a "Best of" section, this will enlighten all who think they know everything there is to know about the Birth of the tom (and the death of fashion therof). and those of you who really honestly do know the tom, well this will be a fond reminder of all we've shared, and suffered through.

The Best of Tomisthecrap:

-"we all ended up in Brians nest watching him defeat Ling Poo.." -Feb 2nd.
who could forget that day? actually that happened so often it could be anyday...it just so happens that this particular time, we had just seen the Neo-Furturists. Go figure.

-"Today, my deodorant ran out, and I was reminded that nothing lasts forever in this world. Not even Tom's All Natural Woodspice. Sigh. I still have my Old Spice High Endurance Fresh though, so all is not lost." Feb 11th
One of my most heartfelt blogs ever. and even though it was written at the begining of this year, it still resonates today, as a powerful testement to man's brevity of life. Lets take another quote from that one.
-"what Im trying to say is dont take your deodorant for granted. Cuz, one day my freind, that big stick will gone, and you'll be left with an empty husk of what once was.
Savor it. "

-"Hey Guys, my name's Tom
I'm the new crack
I'm all like fashion and stuff
I'm a woman
I'M A WOMANNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!
Femmanin to the maxety-maxest possible. " Feb 26 03
No matter how many times I say this was not written by me, ppl still think it was. And indeed, it is one of Paul Scotas raw talents, to impersonate others so well. Who can forget his "Coach z/ my dad" impersonation, or how about the classic "Arnold" accent he does so well? well my freinds we may now add his "tom lake" to the list of his cherished personas.

-"it was ultra-hotness. like imagine-me-in-purple-thermal-wear-hotness. thats the kind of thing im talking about." -Apr 7th '03
This is one of those quotes that I found tremendously ammusing, but whenever i mention it to any of my freinds, I get o sort of accomadating smile, or nod, and a quick subject change. Perhaps the subject of my body holds some difficult facts for some people, or perhaps the thought of me in thermal wear is too much for some, however I would like to point out that it is this same thermal wear that would later become the famed (or notorious) Mothman costume.

-"Today, I came downstairs after reading a Flannery O'Connor story, rumaged in the fridge, and shook my socks in the air, caught up in the throughs of manhood. Meanwhile my mom and Sue looked with the bewilderment that women get when looking at something extremely masculine. So masculine that they can barely detect it. Like when you blow those dog whistles and nobody hears it but the dog. Yea that was like this. Except ...you know im the dog....and my ...socks...are the ..nevermind. - Feb 27th
this quote needs to commentary. It stands alone as a powerful description of masculinity in action and progress.

-"I finished my Doctor Who book this morning...what a satifying feeling to know that a fictitous universe has once again been saved by an eccentric man who travels in a machine that looks like a telephone booth." Feb 4th '03
Doctor Who....how long has it been my old freind?

-""Don't freak with a puppet on a pilgrimage." he said. The bear's dying eyes widened as he understood. His last words were too faint for Jack to make out, but they sounded apologetic. He picked up the shards of clay and laid them on the dead bear's chest in the shape of a roman cross.
Jack then continued his journey, his strings reaching up into the heavens, and his wooden joints moving as directed" Feb 27th
This story still lies in the back of mind. Begging for an explination, or a continuation....

-"The other night I unleashed Tom Lake's Heavy Metal Onslaught apon the kitchen and my un-suspecting parents. I did this my holding my amp above my head and screaming sentances with words in it like "Hot", "Death", and "Tom Lake" in them. My parents didn't seem to get it though...and kept on talking about ebay and hunting gear and pottery.
Boy did they miss out. " -Apr 25th
I am proud of that moment. Its like a son to me.

-"they transformed into their ninja megazords, and rocked his candy, causing Dustin, the Yellow Ranger, to exclaim "Crustacian Detonation!" as if we all couldn't see the shelfish monster explode..." Apr 26th '03
The power rangers still have an inexplicable grip on my mind.

-"Sunday found me fighting brian with these foam swords, ending with a thrust to the eye for me....I look like I got in a fight now...with my eye all scraped and puffy. Whatever, it justs adds to my thug apeal, which is in abundance today, trust me. The Bramble never lies...."
Sometimes, you have to just let it go, and be hot.

-"Ive got 4 albums this week.....i need to slow down...i just can't stop buying the music. it calls to me in my sleep Come, Thomas...purchace me baby...im on sale... and so on. So does B.S. but thats another story. and another blog. " May 14th
How many sleepless nights, BS, will your soft voice haunt me?

-"maybe its time we all threw our razors of discontentment away and let our wild, un fashionable hairs grow in where ever they darn well please.
Death to fashion. Bring back the Hair."May 16th
Deal with it.

-"So today amounted to me and Liam and Booster and Andy all playing video games. It sounds like it sucked. But it was awesome. Details would only detract from the experience, trust me. The only thing thats worth mentioning is that my lil bro mike called me hot today and Kate remarked that Russo looked adorable driving his car. mercy.-May 26th
Look up the original version in the Archives for the funny links. (like clicking on kate, or andy driving his car)

ok folks its time for class, I will undoubtably post more best of quotes from the archive, at a later date. Be safe.

"I give you Earnest Hemingway, gentlemen!"

"Exactly Gentlemen!"

from the begining of his literary career, Hemingway set out to be a literary figure.

He succeeded after his first novel. "In Our Time"


im going to be a rapper.

so Mothman 2 was filmed last night. Unfortunately we seemed to be in the make out spot of the night. So while, I (spandex clad mind you) was wrestling Liam (in a sleeping bag) there were all these date cars driving by staring at us. Humbling to say the least.

anyways the movie turned out to be a classic, and will be included in the soon to be released MOTHMAN TRILOGY.

(suckers would be suggested to act as if they know at this point.)

So last night, myself, andrew russo and my brother decided we would build me a moth suit and run around the city. as we went to do this, the idea evolved into russo chasing me in a preist's robe we just happened to swipe from a catholic school's trash. So then we decide why not film it? and call up emily, who says sure so we hop over there and get my moth suit constructed. (it ended up being me in spandex purple thermal wear with cardboard tube eyes....we later added sort of wings.) on the way to film this project we picked up paul ganguly and worked brian into the deal.
needless to say the film was awful, awfully funny and had disturbing sound effects by paul.

needless to say the camera's night vision makes me look naked.