I've been noodling around with some online games lately. I've discovered a genius game designer named On who runs a bizarre site called www.eyezmaze.com. He has some of the most original and incredibly entertaining games I've ever come across. The concepts alone are worth checking out. Heres a rundown of some of his stuff.

Tontie ver. B: a game that uses the number pad to the right of your keyboard to thwack one eyed tonties that pop up a series of trapdoors that correspond to the numbers. Absolutely addictive. I haven't come close to beating this thing.

Grow! : a game that consists of nothing more than a globe that you place objects on. Each object affects certain other objects, causing them to "level up" and morph into different things. You have 12 objects and each has something like 7 levels to get to. Good luck.

Zip Bear Town! : a site he made for some incredibly weird Japanese TV show or something. There's all kinds of weird things on here. A list of characters, movies, and games that are indescribable and entirely in Japanese, which makes them hilarious to play because it's mostly guesswork. I figured out how to play one of them sort of... but I don't know the name of it.
I dare you to click on this music video thing. Imagine if I made a cartoon about some care bear telletubbie. It would be much like this. God help us all.

Vanilla ver. B : A game where you stack these tree monsters on top of eachother every time you click on them from top to bottom. Where you click them determines how they lean... Should they sway and touch the wall, you lose. See how high you can stack them! yay!

The following was written on napkin and Microsoft Works by a Mystery Author.
I hope you all can appreciate the depth of content and meaning inherent in his/her work.

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The Account of the Undeveloped hero and Hekaba
I
Hekaba of the dark tresses, your beauty withers as the sea of fallen heroes grows cold
Why offer to me this painted worm? My appetite refuses this meal, naked for courage and bereft of diginity.
Your ways take me to the low house, where my broken master awaits me
With a shriveled toungue and an empty heart he would make me his disciple

Bull, charge away the empty champion
Find the heron that brings peace and let it roost among your young.

Refuse the vicious Hekaba the path to her bed is littered with blood and drawn swords
Beetles sting at the ankles of your suitors, and the badger of wrath visits their homeland
Away upon Mt Ida, dwells a man who fell from his high horse into the snare of the ashen queen
His heart lies in empty funerary jars, and he is now a son to the broken master

II
Narcissistic beast, curse your inherited affliction
Punish the brute and shackle him
Become presentable to the grey-eyed Athene
Devoted to her ways your appetite will diminish as your chest soars

Tame the Stallion, make him servile, the success of your campaign rides on his obedience

III
Narcissistic beast, curse your inherited affliction
Punish the brute and shackle him
Become presentable to the grey-eyed Athene
Find happiness among her perched owls


My noble son, the daughter of Hektor loves you, her face is kind and her eyes see far
Become a tall man and wear your brothers shining helm, tall and shocking be terrifying toward the empty champion
Address the large square and lead the cube to action, sit as heart and head of shapes.
The Cult of Pythagoras is your enemy, do away with them, your moment of heroism awaits

IV
Sol Invictus is the folly of men, William of the great war cry has seen this

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You can hear a new song from Joy Electric from his upcoming album, "Hello Mannaquin"

you all should here this junk, as a huge fan of his I speak from experience when I say it is the royal jump off.

click here
ok i might as well say hi to paul...who'll be the only one clicking there. Whats up man.
good tune aint it? darn right. I'll see you at the party n stuff. You know.

As I Lay Dying Frail Words Collapse

Metal is getting old. It seems that certain elements are given in any new metal-core, violence-doom, or speed-math-death-core release. You can from the beginning assume that they'll have a skull on the cover of their album. No? How about the back, or on the CD? Still no? Then look at the label it was put out on... yep just as I thought. The Death Jury Record Company. Or Skull Blood Ditch Records. Or something like that, the point is the logo will have a skull on it, and it will be respected. Even though I find cover art on "hardcore" bands records' funny, (check out Haste The Day's cover art, I kid you not, a crying, goth-angel!) I still find myself checking the Z section at record archive for new Zao releases, and heaven help me if I find an Underoath cd, much less Sinai Beach. You really can't judge a cd by its cover, but you sure as shootin can talk junk about it on your blog. So anyways... now that I've thoroughly embarrassed myself, onto the music.

The third release from the over-dramatically titled As I Lay Dying, (It should be noted that its the title of a Robert Faulkner book as well.) finds the band joining the ranks of the other bazillion metal-core bands, while fighting for their own distinct sound. More times than not, As I Lay Dying succeeds and the result is some brutal, mathematically intimidating, music.

One of the things that immediately impressed me, was how tight the band can lock into their drummer's double bass pedal rolls. I mean, at times these guys sound like a machine. The first song, "94 Hours" opens the album and makes to buts about it. Starting with a lead guitar line that sounds like as metal as it is punk, the band within 30 seconds, has gone from a speed punk beat, to a nasty breakdown. This is a theme for the band, although they don't repeat a whole lot of things, they do like breakdowns, and quick changes and of course the double bass. As a result, the bands best songs are the shortest. The first 4 songs are not that short, but they definitely hold their own, until the albums fifth, and best track: "Distance Is Darkness" Clocking in at 2 minutes and a half, the song brutalizes its song structure, time signatures, and speed metal breakdowns with bombast. The guitars swell into another breakdown, and then build into a chorus that finds the vocalist singing some suprisingly erie and amazing lines as the band lays down an emotional, epic backdrop behind him. Trust me. This song is unbreakable.

The vocalist deserves mention here, as Tim Lambesis is willing to stretch his dynamic ranges across the boards from a low, guttural, growl to a high shrieking thing. He also can sing very well... which makes me wish he did a bit more.

I don't mean to be a yes-man music critic here, but this album is very good. If I hadn't heard Sinai Beach or Nodes of Ranveir (or Norma Jean) I would put them in the top 2 or 3 metalcore bands around. The thing that holds them back is 3 songs. There are three songs on this record that just don't do it for me. They just seem to repeat the boring parts of the song rather than the good parts. But 3 out of 12 ain't bad is it? No, it isn't you snob, so push your bifocals up your long nose, and check out the band the next time they play a show round heeah. (or for me, at cornerstone.) Shoot. Ya'll act like you own this place or sumtin.